


The Problem With Roommates

by Tealshirt



Series: Roommates [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dubious Consent, I suck at tagging, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, hipster!Steve, only because they are both drunk, punk!bucky, second chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-21 10:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2465585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tealshirt/pseuds/Tealshirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky have been exceptionally awkward lately, but they are starting to sort their problems out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silenced

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own. You might have to read the others in this series, and at the very least the second one because this one picks up right after it.Rating on this might go up i'm not super sure yet?? Feedback is appreciated.

Steve groaned, squinting his eyes so he could see in the bright light. He paused when he heard a grunt come from above him. He held still,too nervous to even breath. He could feel a warm body under him, solid and real, and could hear soft snores.

Steve cautiously opened his eyes and looked up. His hand shot up to stifle his own quick intake of breath. Steve was leaning against a sleeping Bucky, laying on their cozy sofa. He moved carefully, trying to get out from the others strong grip and failing. Bucky pulled Steve closer, his metal arm warm from being laid on all night.

Steve squeaked and wiggled slightly, sliding the arm above his head and falling to the floor with the support of the couch no longer under him. The _thud_ he made when he hit the floor wasn't enough to disturb the other man, and Steve gave thanks. It was enough that he felt awkward realizing the position they were in, but it would be a situation made worse by  _Bucky waking up._

The blond walked lightly on his feet, doing his best not to make too much noise. He made his way to his room and shut the door softly, and threw his body on his bed. He pressed a face into his pillow and groaned slightly. It shouldn't have been so comforting to wake up in Bucky's arms, cuddled up on the couch, with the warm daylight seeping through their dirty apartment windows.

Steve slapped around on his bedside table, looking for his phone, but too lazy to lift his head. He smacked it, nearly pushing it off the table, but looking up just in time to catch it from falling. He shifted to his back, and held the phone above his face, unlocking it and checking his texts. He opened up his emails, and scrolled through the spam idly, before he found one addressed from a 'Ms. Pepper Potts'. Steve scanned over the message, but a part of it caught his eye and sat up in bed, reading it over again.

_'Dear Mr. Rogers,_

_My name is Pepper Potts, and I am the CEO of Stark Industries. I am emailing to commission a piece for Mr. Stark's Charity Gala next month. Mr. Stark has seen your work and he would be honored if you would accept. Please contact me back through either this email or call my office. Thank you for your time. '_

Steve sucked in a breath and moved to reply. His hands were shaking from excitement, and his breathing signaled he might have an asthma attack. It would be amazing if he could work out a deal with Stark Industries. Not only would his name get out there, but the paycheck from such a piece alone might be enough to cover his share of bills for a month or more.

Steve sent the reply, and set his phone down on the bed beside him, trying to steady his breath and calm himself down. His breathing even, and his pulse back to normal range, he got up to use the bathroom. He opened his bedroom door and found Bucky sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. Steve froze when the brunette slowly looked over at him, wearing a blank face. Steve smiled slightly and waved, "Morning, Buck. Sleep well?"

Bucky's face shifted and he nodded a little. Steve still hadn't moved, and they were both watching each other in silence. Steve motioned towards the bathroom door with his head, and watched Bucky look at the doorway.

"I- uh. I'll be right back." Steve said, fast walking towards the room.

 

Steve quickly did his business, and upon emerging from the restroom, could hear pots and pans clanging around in the kitchen. He shuffled into the kitchen and peaked around the corner, finding Bucky setting a pan on the stove, and turning it on.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Steve asked, pushing himself up to sit on the counter.

Bucky watched him from the side of his eye and got the eggs out. "I'm cooking? Thought it was pretty clear."

Steve rolled his eyes, and chuckled. "No shit. I meant what are you making?"

"Breakfast." Bucky said, his eyes locked with Steve's.

Steve snorted and glared back at the brunette. " I know- never mind. Want any help?"

"Sure. Make toast?"

"Alright." Steve said, hopping off the counter.

They worked in silence until Steve remembered his commission, and once he remembered he had the insistent need to tell someone right then.

"So...I got a commission to do a piece." He spoke nonchalantly.

"Oh?" Bucky grunted.

"For Stark Industries." Steve said, turning to look at Bucky.

Steve heard the knife Bucky was using clatter to the counter.

"Really? Steve that's awesome!" Bucky said enthusiastically lifting Steve into the air.

Steve squealed loudly, and Bucky nearly dropped him, just barely managing to catch the smaller man before he hit the ground. Steve coughed politely and whispered a soft "Thanks."

Steve turned back to the toaster and continued putting toast in it, while Bucky walked back towards the cutting board and continued chopping things, and throwing them into the pan on the stove. 

~*~

A quietness filled the apartment for most the morning after Bucky's unusual behavior. Sometime around noon, Steve heard the front door shut, from his spot in his room. He was working on a piece for an elderly woman two floors down, and he had paint everywhere. He decided to take a break, and get a snack. He also needed to call his eye doctor soon and try and get his glasses fixed.

He wandered into the kitchen and got himself a granola bar, and made his way towards the living room, throwing himself over the back of the couch. He grabbed the television remote and flipped through the channels idly before settling on some reality show. His attention was drifting in and out, and he must have fallen asleep, because when he woke up it was dark out and there was a blanket over him. Steve sat up and stretched, listening closely for Bucky. He heard the shower running, and humming, which he could just barely hear over the sound of rushing water.

Steve pushed the blanket off himself and stood up, wandering into his bedroom and shutting the door quietly. He cleaned up the stuff he had left out earlier, and got ready for bed. Even after his unexpected nap he was still exhausted. Faintly he heard the shower shutting off. A few minutes later he heard the bathroom door open, and the door across from his room being shut.

Steve drifted off to sleep with the sound of Bucky moving around in his bedroom.

~*~

The first thing Steve did when he got up in the morning was call up his doctor and to get his glasses fixed. After finding out how much it would be to fix them , he entered the number of the guy who had slammed the door open on his face, into his phone and called him up. The guy, Sam, Steve remembered, picked up on the second ring, with a cheery "Hello?"

"Hi. Um...This Steve Rogers. You..hit me with a door? And broke my glasses..."

"Oh! I'm still really sorry about that. Did you get your glasses repaired?"

"No not yet. I just put in a repair order for them. They gave me a price for them." Steve replied looking around his room.

"How bad did I demolish them?" Sam asked.

"You knocked a lens out, and broke a spot on the other lens. To be honest, i'm pretty sure I came out worse than they did."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel bad?"

"Is it working?" Steve asked, a slight laugh.

"Yes. Would it be possible to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner?"

"I'm....Sure we can reach an agreement on that." Steve said hesitantly.

"Alright. Friday night? 7?"

"Works for me. " Steve said, smoothing a hand through his hair.

"Great. I'll text you the details."

"Yeah. Thanks. Later."

"Later, Steve." Sam said.

Steve heard the phone beep, and he locked it, tossing it off to the side. He was still smiling when he walked out of his bedroom. Bucky was sitting on the couch watching television when he walked through.

"What's got you all happy?"

Steve stopped and smiled at Bucky. " I got a date."

Bucky lifted an eyebrow and nodded, but turned back to his show. Steve shrugged and continued on his way to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. "Hey, Buck you ate anything yet?"

Steve heard a grunt, and then shuffling. He turned around when he heard Bucky's footsteps enter the kitchen, and came face to chest with the brunette.

"Shi-hi!" Steve squeaked looking up.

"Hi." Bucky replied back, his voice taking on a husky tone.

"So..have you?" Steve replied taking a step back, trapped between Bucky and the counter.

"Not yet." He said.

"Alright...I'll just make something for us-"

"I'm gonna go smoke out on the balcony." Bucky mumbled, exiting the kitchen.

Steve heard the balcony door open, and close, and he put his head in his hands. _Was Bucky trying to kill me? If the jump scare didn't, being so close would.'_

The blonde calmed his heart, and stood up straight.He started making breakfast, and Bucky walked through and sat down at their table, in view of Steve.

For the second day in a row, they ate their breakfast in complete silence, the only sounds being the television in the background and the sound of their forks scraping against plates.


	2. Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Also Bucky has a sort of panic attack I guess you can say? In general he gets sort of freaked out.  
> my tumblr: http://tealshirt.tumblr.com/

Steve slid on his knitted beanie and jacket, preparing to face the chilly winter breeze outside. He was going to drop off his glasses, and run some other errands, but not being able to see as well with his older glasses, he asked Bucky if he would mind coming along.

Bucky had his hair tied back in a small bun at the back of his head, and he was wearing a leather jacket, which Steve thought looked extremely comfortable. Steve walked a pace ahead of Bucky most the way. Bucky held the door to the office open and Steve blushed and mumbled out a quiet "Thank you."

Bucky nodded and walked in behind Steve, pulling the door shut behind himself.

Steve stood at the desk, watching the receptionist typing and laughing at her computer. He coughed, but when it didn't catch her attention he knocked on the desk. The woman continued to ignore him. He pressed the bell on the counter before he noticed that she had headphones in. Bucky sighed and pushed Steve slightly to the side before he reached into the cubicle and pulled a headphone from her ear, and said "Excuse me? Miss?" loudly.

Steve blushed slightly when the lady jumped and looked over at them. "Oh, hun! I'm sorry! What can I help you gentlemen with?"  
  


Steve pushed Bucky with his hip, and smiled kindly at the woman. "I just need to drop off my glasses. They need to be repaired."

"Oh. Alright. Name?"

"Steve Rogers." He said handing over the glasses.

Bucky was staring around the office, a bored expression on his face, while Steve gave the lady his information.

"Alright hun, that looks like it. You boys have a nice day."

"You too miss." Steve said, smiling and looking every bit like the Boy Scout Bucky was comparing him to in his head.

Bucky followed Steve from the office and out onto the street. They walked along in silence for a few minutes before Bucky turned to look at the shorter man. "So where do you need to go to?" He asked.

"Gotta pick up some art stuff for the Stark commission."

"So art store?" Bucky asked.

"Yep." Steve replied, pressing a crosswalk button.

~*~

The art store was warmer than the chilly December air, and even with a skinny frame like Steve's he was getting too hot in his jacket. So he figured Bucky really must be dying underneath his heavy leather jacket,"Aren't you warm?"

"Yep." The brunette nodded, looking at the names of art supplies on the wall.

"Why don't you take your jacket off then?" Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged and smirked at Steve, and then went back to looking at acrylic paints.

Steve stared at his roommate out of the corner of his eye. He didn't notice it before, but Bucky had kept his left hand in his jacket since they had left the apartment. After noticing this it didn't take Steve long to figure out why Bucky wasn't taking off his jacket.

_'He doesn't want people to see his arm.'_

Steve felt a sadness overtake him, and he frowned. Bucky gave him an odd look when he saw his face. "You almost done Stevie?"

"Stevie?" Steve asked, his mood flipping completely.

"What? No good?"

"No it's just. Why?"

Bucky shrugged and grinned, "Well I figured I have a nickname for you to call me by. Only fair you do too."

"Yeah but you got to pick yours." Steve said, picking up his basket of supplies and walking towards the front of the store.

"So? What's wrong with Stevie?" Bucky asked following behind.

"Nothing. You can call me it if you want." he quipped. Steve pulled out his wallet and handed the cashier his card.

"Deal." Bucky smiled.

~*~

Steve and Bucky were sitting on their couch and watching a movie Bucky had turned on when Steve remembered what he had wanted to ask Bucky in the art store.

"Buck?" He asked hesitantly from his side of the couch.

 

"Yeah Stevie?" Bucky asked from the other end.

 

"When we were out earlier...Why did you- why did you keep your hand in your pocket?"

"It was cold?" Bucky said sarcastically, but Steve could tell he didn't wanna tell him the real reason, by the way his face had changed and he had crossed his arms.

 

Steve nodded and turned his attention back to the screen, but Bucky got and went into the kitchen, where Steve could hear him moving pots and pans again.

 

He sighed and got up, walking into the kitchen too. "Listen Bucky, i'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." Steve said, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky jerked involuntarily and spun around. "Please don't." He whispered.

The smaller man felt his heart clench. Bucky's eyes were darting left and right, as if he was trying to find a way around Steve. "Bucky, it's ok-"

Bucky shouldered past Steve and stomped towards the front door. Steve made a run for it and skidded to a stop in front of it.

 

"Bucky! It's 26 degrees outside and sleeting! I'm not letting you go leave. At least not without a jacket!"

Bucky's breathing quickened and he made a run for the balcony. Steve ran after him, his breathing abnormal from so much movement. "Bucky! No wait!" The brunette had wrenched open the balcony doors and was standing bent over the edge, breathing erratically. Steve shuffled up behind him slowly. With slight hesitation he reached out his hand and began to rub Bucky's back, and felt him relax little by little.

"It's okay. It's alright." Steve whispered. They stood out on the balcony for ten minutes before Bucky had calmed down enough to notice that Steve's teeth were shattering.

"Awh shit, Stevie. Why didn't you go inside?" Bucky asked, pushing Steve back into their apartment and shutting the balcony doors. He sat Steve down on the couch and grabbed a blanket. Steve sat, fighting his hardest to keep his teeth from clacking with no success. Bucky rolled his eyes, but sat down beside the him, and pulled him into his arms. Steve's hair was tickling Bucky's nose, but he just turned his head and pulled Steve closer, rubbing his hands up down the blonde's arms.

"I-I s-should be comforting you." Steve breathed out between chattering teeth.

"You can comfort me when you're not about to catch hypothermia alright?" Bucky grumbled.

"F-f-fine."

 

 

 ~*~

Steve inhaled loudly and looked around the room with a confused glance. He was wrapped in a blanket, but he was hot and sweating underneath the fleece deathtrap. He attempted to move his arms but found they were held against his body by something. He wiggled back and forth until he realized the thing that was holding him, that he was being _held against_ was his roommate. His very asleep roommate. Steve looked up at the dirty ceiling and questioned why he was always in these type of situations.

Unlike last time he couldn't just wiggle away. This time they were laid down on the couch completely, and Bucky was laying on the blanket covering Steve. Steve tested the tight grip around his chest, and found that it wouldn't budge.

Steve stopped moving all together in hopes that maybe Bucky would let go in his sleep and Steve wouldn't have to wake him. Steve laid still for a few minutes, just listening to Bucky's soft breathing. He could feel the steady puffs of air against his neck, and it was driving him crazy. Steve was about to wake Bucky up when he thought about something. Bucky was asleep. Bucky doesn't sleep. Bucky was asleep the other night when they fell asleep on the couch. Bucky only sleeps when he is cuddling someone like a life size teddy. And of course Steve is the only one Bucky trusts enough to even lay down around.

Steve grumbled softly but found that it wasn't so bad. There are worse things than being snuggled forcibly by your insanely attractive roommate who you may or may not be into. The blonde sighed softly and closed his eyes, deciding to just go back to sleep. The couch may not be comfortable, and he may sweating in some very unfortunate places but he could deal.

~*~

Bucky shivered slightly and pushed closer to whatever was in front of him, still in between the asleep and waking stages. Moving closer brought his into somethingc solid, and he pressed against it insistently. He hummed and rocked back and forth, his morning erection thrusting into the warmth in front of him. His hips we speeding up slightly, and he shoved his face into the warm nook in front of him. His nose twitched when he felt a tickle on his face and he pulled back to look at what he had been grinding into. His hips stopped abruptly, and he jerked back when he came to the conclusion the solid warmth he had been humping at for the last two minutes was his roommate. Bucky pushed himself back as far as he could from the other man, and moved to get up from behind him. He had one leg over him, and one arm on the very edge when Steve rolled over onto his back and blinked up at the other man. "Bucky?"

Bucky dropped his weight in surprise, and attempting not to crush Steve, leaned his weight to one side. He really wasn't expecting the momentum of it to bring Steve down on top of him. Bucky grunted when his back met the ground, and Steve landed on him. He coughed slightly, trying to catch his breath after it being knocked out of him. Unfortunately even the whole mess couldn't flag Bucky's hard on, and Steve yelped in shock when he shifted slightly and felt it press into his stomach.

"Je- Are you okay Bucky? Did I hurt you?"

 

"No." Bucky mumbled, his face burning in shame.

Steve was blushing too as he pushed himself up to his elbows, his eyes scanning slightly down the other's body. "No to you being okay or to me hurting you?" Steve asked, his gaze coming to rest on Bucky's face.

"Both." he croaked.

Steve nodded and laid back down on the floor beside Bucky.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated.

Steve was trying to work on his commission for Stark Industries, but he kept distracting himself. He was sure he was doing more dancing than actual artwork, but he was calling it enjoying his alone time in the apartment. Bucky had gone out for the day, and Steve was using the time he would have spent hiding in his room out of pure embarrassment, getting work done. Well trying to get work done.

Things had been awkward between them most the morning, breakfast being ate in a silence which seemed to blanket the entire apartment. The only sounds heard were of the traffic outside their building, and birds squawking from the balcony. After breakfast Bucky had went into his room and changed, and left. Steve watched with pursed lips, as Bucky rushed around the apartment grabbing his jackets and boots.

Steve resigned to just starting on his artwork after Bucky left, but he was having a hard time concentrating. If he did get himself on task, he seemed to procrastinate it all together. Mostly by dancing. Steve was singing at the top of his lungs, and dancing, despite it being ten in the morning. There is a reason his neighbors give him looks when he leaves the apartment.

Steve was still dancing when his eye doctor called to tell him that his glasses were ready for pickup. He put his art stuff away and jumped through the shower, throwing on clothes in a hurry. He wrapped himself up in his winter gear, and locked the apartment. Steve stepped outside and his teeth immediately began chattering. He figured he could splurge a bit and get himself a cab.

Steve listened to the taxi cab driver talk nodding and giving the appropriate responses, with only half the attention he usually would, all the way to the office. He was on autopilot all the way into the place, getting his glasses, and checking them over for anything wrong. He payed the fees and walked out, thankful he could see his own two feet in front of him as he walked. He went into a coffee shop and ordered his regular, pulling out his phone and texting Sam.

**To:Sam**

**-'Got my glasses back :)'-**

**From: Sam**

**'Just in time for tonight. How much do I owe you?'-**

Steve read the reply and groaned. He had forgot all about them getting together tonight. He typed back quickly, and then left the shop with his coffee.

**-'$75. Where are we meeting at btw?'-**

Steve fast walked back to the apartment,throwing his empty cup in a trashcan on the way. He unlocked the door to his apartment and took off his jacket and scarf, throwing them haphazardly around the entrance. He ran to his room and pulled off clothes and changing into something he thought more fitting for a first date. Multi-tasking, he ran to the bathroom and did his hair while checking his phone. Sam had texted him the directions to the meeting place, and Steve quickly typed out a reply. He was brushing his teeth and putting his wallet and inhaler into his pants when he heard the apartment door open. Bucky was standing in the area between their rooms with a raised eyebrow when Steve turned around and he held up a finger, and rushed to the bathroom. He finished brushing his teeth, and ran back to his room to grab his phone. "I have a date!"

Bucky's confused face took on a vaguely stormy expression and Steve considered calling Sam and telling him he might be late, but Bucky turned and went into his room, shutting the door behind himself. Steve stared at the closed door in bewilderment for a second before he heard the first notes of one of Bucky's CD's begin playing. The blonde shrugged his shoulder and grabbed his jacket and keys and running out of the door.

~*~

Sam was already sitting at the table when Steve ran into the restaurant, out of breath, and sweat forming on his forehead. Steve straightened out his clothes and walked over to Sam, trying desperately not to look out of breath.

"Did you run all the way here?"

 

 

Obviously it wasn't working.

 

"I- yeah. My...roommate..held me up.??"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Sam asked, smiling up at Steve.

Steve moved around the table , and sat down in the chair across from Sam. "Telling."

Sam laughed and Steve smiled at him. Sam switched subjects and they dove into a serious conversation until the waitress came around and took their orders. Dinner went along smoothly, and after it was over and it was time to pay, Sam insisted he cover both parts.

"You don't have to pa-"

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm the one who broke your glasses and you agreed to letting me make it up by taking you to dinner and paying to get them fixed." Sam dug around in his pocket, before pulling out a check and sliding it across the table, "And here's me paying for the glasses." The waitress came by and picked up Sam's card, smiling at him as she left. Sam pointed at the tall red head and smiled. "And that's me paying for dinner."

Steve sighed and took the check, putting it into his wallet. "Thanks. Although that kinda looked like either a drug deal or like you were paying me for sex." Steve's hand shot up to cover his mouth and he gasped at his own comment. "I'm sorry that sounded better in my head.I don't think your trying to pay me to sleep with you."

Sam snorted and laughed hard, his head tipping back to show the long line of his neck. Steve stared in fascination at his bobbing Adam's apple. Sam was laughing so hard, Steve could see tears starting to leak from the corners of his eyes. He didn't think his comment was that funny, but apparently his company had found it  _hilarious._

Sam was trying to regain his breath, one hand pressed against his chest, and staring across at Steve a smile still on his face. The waitress came back by and smiled at Sam again,to which he gave a kind grin. He left a tip and stood, gesturing for Steve to follow. Sam held the door open for Steve and followed him out into the cold air,the wind blowing harshly at their faces. "Thanks for dinner." Steve said, clenching his teeth against the cold.

"No problem. Which way you heading?" Sam asked.

Steve pointed to the right with his head, and smiled up at Sam.

"I'm this way." He replied pointing left.

"Well then I guess this is where we go our separate ways."

"Guess so." Sam looked down at the ground and then glanced back up at Steve. "I had a good time tonight, Steve."

"Me too. Maybe we should do it again?"

"That sounds great." Sam murmured.

Steve nodded and stepped forward to hug Sam, when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He held up a finger and pulled his phone out. He sighed when he saw the name 'Bucky' flashing across the screen, along with a picture Steve had taken of Bucky staring out the window when he wasn't paying attention. "I gotta get this. It's my roommate." He turned and answered the phone, huffing out a quiet "What Bucky?"

There was static and then Bucky's rough voice growled out "Stevie?"

"What?"

"I was just wondering when you'll be back?"

Steve spared a glance at Sam,who was looking around pretending not to be listening to the conversation. "I don't know."

"Oh. Well..um..I have to go. I'm making dinner and it's burning." Bucky replied quickly, ending the call. Steve stared down puzzled at his phone, watching the screen go dark. He put his phone back into his pocket with furrowed brows and turned to Sam. "I should probably-"

"Get going?" Sam replied.

"Yeah." Steve said, shrugging.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later Steve. Bye."

"Bye." Steve said, already turning and walking away.

 

 ~*~

 

Steve unlocked the apartment door and opened it, calling out for Bucky as he stripped off his jacket. He heard mellifluous music playing, the complete opposite of what Bucky usually listened to. Steve edged his way towards the bedrooms and stepped softly until he stood in the open doorway of Bucky's room. Bucky was sitting in front of a keyboard, playing. He was mostly using his right hand but pressing a few keys here and there with his left hand too. Steve stood still too afraid to even breath, and interrupt the peaceful music his roommate was producing. He watched silently as Bucky finished one song and started another, eventually finishing that one as well. He might have let him continue but he started to feel as if he was intruding on a private moment, something he shouldn't be seeing. He backtracked slowly and made sure he made more noise this time when he shut the door, and called out his roommate's name. He heard the music stop abruptly and shuffling sounds. When Steve was standing in his previous spot, Bucky had somehow managed to push the instrument out of the way, and was sitting on his bed casually staring at a book. Steve might have believed it if it weren't for the fact he had seen Bucky playing previously. Also Bucky had the book upside down, which made Steve laugh slightly.

"Your home early." Bucky commented.

"You called me. Sounded urgent." Steve replied, resting against the doorway.

"It wasn't." Bucky fired back.

Steve nodded and went into his own room, changing into pajama's.

~*~

Steve and Bucky were walking around town, running errands, and just enjoying the day. It was warmer than it had been, not by much considering where they lived, but warm enough. Bucky had been meandering slightly behind Steve for most of the trip, but they had kept a steady conversation going still.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Yes, Bucky. I've only lived here my whole life. I think I know where i'm going!" Steve snapped, slightly impatient. He was lost, but he wouldn't admit it to Bucky.

Bucky held up his hands to show that he meant no harm. Steve huffed and continued forward, pausing at the next intersection to look around. He spun in a circle slowly, looking at all the street signs, Bucky just slightly behind him, grinning at his lost roommate.

Steve smiled and pointed, walking off, leaving Bucky to follow, trailing slowly behind the other man. Steve opened the shop door and walked in, making Bucky speed up in order to catch the door.

Steve was standing at the desk, talking to a pretty brunette behind the counter, who was smiling and giggling at something he said. Bucky hung back at the entrance to the store, glaring slightly without really meaning to, at the display.

"Thanks, Miss." Steve said, waving and walked back towards Bucky with a large white bag.

"Did you get everything you needed to get?" Bucky asked, pushing the door open for Steve and holding it.

Steve smiled and nodded, and walked the opposite direction.

"You wanna get something to eat?" The small blonde asked.

"Sure."

Steve led them off in a random direction, walking slower than he might usually have, waiting for Bucky to match his pace.

 

~*~

They arrived at a small diner near their apartment and sat in a booth, along the windows. A waitress walked by and gave them menu's and asked what they wanted to drink. When she came back around, she was paying extra attention to Bucky, as she took their orders. He didn't look up at her at all, focusing on something behind her head when he gave his order, so he didn't have to make eye contact. When she walked away Steve leaned forward, and whispered, "She was flirting you know..."

 

Bucky rolled his eyes and scoffed at him. "She was not." 

 

"Really? 'Cause I was watching her and it was pretty obvious to me and that she was flirtin' pal."

 

Bucky mumbled under his breath, causing Steve to lean forward and let out a low "Huh?"

"I said, 'She's not really my type."

"Oh." Steve replied, " That's cool. I don't have a problem with that. I mean-"

"Steve I don't need you to tell me it's fine because I know it's fine."

"That's not what I was meaning. I was just gonna say, i'm bisexual, so I really don't care about your sexuality."

Bucky looked up his roommate and laughed quietly. He was messing with his lip ring and staring across the table, talking with Steve when the waitress brought them their food, but neither payed much attention to her,to absorbed in their conversation to notice her. She stomped away, going to take care of her other tables.

~*~

When they got back to their apartment later in the day the first thing they both did was change from their outside clothes to pajama's and flop down on their couch. Steve can't remember the couch ever being as comfortable as it was when he had been out all day, traipsing the streets of New York. Bucky had his face tilted towards their ceiling, and his eyes closed, breathing shallowly, like he might be asleep.Steve was watching him, his own head tilted back against an arm, stretched out across the couch. Steve patted around for the remote,and flipped on the television. Bucky opened his eyes and watched with Steve, both in idle silence. Bucky got up to make a quick dinner, later in the night , and Steve watched him from his place perched on their counter.

The brunette was watching him from the corner of his eye and without even turning to look at Steve, he said,"Can you get your ass off the counter? We cook in here."

Steve rolled his eyes but hopped down,choosing instead to lean against the counters, watching as Bucky moved around their small kitchen.

"Could you maybe like...stop staring?" He grumbled.

"Sorry." Steve squeaked blushing.

Bucky smirked at him and pulled the dish out of the oven. He got two plates down and piled both of them high with food. He set them down at the table and took a seat, pushing Steve's chair out for him with his foot, while the blonde got them both drinks.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Bucky replied, grabbing his fork and digging into the food.

Steve put the first bite in his mouth, and moaned. "Can I just keep you forever and have you cook for me?" He asked around a bite of food.

Bucky chuckled loudly, and retorted. "Sure. Maybe I can finally get some meat on your bones then."

After finishing their dinner, they did the dishes, Steve washing,and Bucky drying. Steve started to hum a song and soon enough they were both humming. The humming turned into singing and then they were both belting out lyrics loudly and dancing around the kitchen.

By the time they had sung fours songs, they had long been finished with dishes, and decided they should probably go to bed, lest they make their neighbors hate them with their loud off key singing.

They both paused going to their rooms, Bucky about to open his door, and Steve getting ready to close his.

"It was a fun day today,Stevie."

"It was,Buck. Night." Steve waved, shutting his door.

"Night." He said, closing his door.

~*~

Steve blearily opened his eyes the next morning, blinking and reaching up a hand to rub the sleep from his eyes. He stared at around his room his vision blurry and unfocused until he reached over and grabbed his glasses. Steve was more of a morning person than his roommate, who had blackout curtains covering his windows. Steve pushed his covers down, and got up. He pulled out fresh clothes for a shower, and walked towards the bathroom. The door was closed, which Steve found odd but he continued on still, rubbing at both his eyes to clear them. He looked up when he heard the bathroom door open, only in time to catch the panic in Bucky's eyes as they crashed to the floor. Bucky rolled so he wouldn't crush Steve, who tucked his head down against Bucky's chest. They sat still for second before Bucky panicked and pushed Steve off of him,scrabbling to pull up the towel that must have fallen of him. Steve covered his eyes.

"You good?"

"Yeah. You can uncover your eyes."

"Why don't you have on pants?" Steve asked, moving to get up.

Bucky offered him a hand, which Steve gladly accepted. "I forgot to grab someone before I went to shower."

"Oh. Thanks for not crushing me."

"No problem." He replied.

Both men made awkward eye contact and began to talk at the same time.

Bucky huffed and shook his head, "You first."

"I just wanted to say i'm sorry for...running into you."

"It's okay." Bucky said calmly.

Steve nodded, and Bucky quickly said, "I'm gonna go put on pants now. Have a nice shower. I saved you hot water." Bucky joked.

"How considerate." Steve retorted.

 

Steve showered quickly, and when he got out he noticed note sitting on the counter for when him, from Bucky.

_'Left you breakfast in the microwave. See you later. -Bucky '_

Steve ate the breakfast slowly, enjoying every bite of it. Steve wasn't sure where Bucky learned how to cook but he knew that he personally needed to thank whoever taught him.

After washing his dishes up he cranked up his music and began working on his art for Stark's Gala. He was nearly done with it, just a few details left to do, and then he would be fine.

~*~

Bucky arrived home just as Steve was putting the finishing details on the painting. Bucky stuck his head around the door frame to Steve's room, and waited to be noticed. "How does it look Buck?"

They stood next to each other just looking at the artwork, Steve waiting for an answer, and Bucky in awe. He knew Steve was good, he did art for a living, but he didn't know that Steve was that good. He bumped Steve's hip lightly and laughed. "It looks fucking amazing, Stevie."

Steve looked up at Bucky, thousand watt smile that could illuminate the entirety of New York for weeks, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss him. Lean in and press his lips against Steve's somewhat chapped lips,and just forgot the world.He swallowed, around the lump in his throat and his own smile faded, and he felt himself leaning forwards little by little. Steve broke eye contact and turned towards the painting, and Bucky was brought back to himself and he leaned back, and looked over at the art too.

"Thanks! I just hope it's what Stark is looking for."

Bucky nodded and gulped. "He's gonna love it pal."

"Hope so. You wanna get some dinner?"

"Sure." He replied watching Steve began to put away his art supplies.

"Great. Let me just clean up alright?"

~*~

Steve was listening about Bucky's day when over the other man's shoulder he saw Sam, the scary redhead and the deaf guy. He waved his hand, and Bucky turned to look. Sam had noticed Steve waving his hand and he smiled as he walked over, his friends following.

"Hey Steve!" Sam said enthusiastically.

"Hey Sam. This is Buc-"

"Bucky. Nice to see you."

"You too Sam. Hey Natasha." Bucky said. He waved back at Clint, who grinned back and wrapped his arm around the firey redhead.

"You two know each other?" Steve asked, confused and looking between the two.

"Yeah. Sam works down at the VA. How do you know him Stevie?"

"I broke his glasses. Stevie?" Sam asked, confusion on his face.

"It's his nickname for me." Steve said rolling his eyes.

"Now that we have that mostly cleared up, mind if we sit?" Asked Natasha.

Steve and Bucky scooted over in their respective sides of the booth. Sam sat next to Steve and Clint and Natasha took the side with Bucky. Steve could tell by Bucky's posture he was uncomfortable and he offered politely to switch seats with him. Bucky declined but Steve forced him to move to the side with him, letting Sam take the window seat, and letting Bucky be on the outside. He,instead, sat comfortably in the middle, heated by the bodies on either side of him.

"So Steve," Natasha started, "Sam here tells me he took you on date."

Steve felt himself blush red-hot, and nodded. "Yes, ma'am he did."

Steve felt Bucky tense ever so slightly to the left of him and he watched him out of the corner of his eye. Steve had learned, in the time they had been roommates, a few of Bucky's nervous gestures, one being keeping his hands busy.

He noticed then that Bucky had added more sugar to his drink, stirred it up, and was now playing with the wrapper that had come from Steve's straw. Steve slid his hand under the table and patted Bucky's knee twice, and continued on talking to Natasha. The corner's of Bucky's lips turned up and he leaned towards Steve a little.

 

 ~*~

They were standing outside the restaurant talking, Bucky across from Steve and Sam next to him. Clint and Natasha were about to leave, Natasha giving Sam a big hug and waving at the rest of them. Clint waving , and signing goodbye at them. They watched to other two walk off and Sam turned towards Steve and dragged him slightly away from Bucky. "Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?"

"What? I-"

"Bucky?" Sam asked.

"No, no, no Bucky's my-"

"Come on Stevie. I got us a cab." The brunette man said, gesturing for Steve to crawl into the cab, he was currently holding the door open for.

"You should probably go." Sam said, the look on his face displaying disappointment. Before Steve could get a word in edgewise, he had turned and was walking away.

Steve grumbled and stomped to the taxi, still mumbling even as Bucky shut the door and the driver pulled away from the curb.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Sam thinks your my boyfriend."

"Oh. Why would he think that?" Bucky inquired.

"I don't know." Steve whispered, mild irritation creeping into his voice.

 ~*~

Steve texted Sam when he got home, apologizing, and attempting to explain,that Bucky was a roommate and not a boyfriend. Sam texted him back and said he didn't need to explain, but that he considered Bucky and himself friends and he would never make a move on someone that he was interested in. Steve was left staring down at the last message in confusion mostly, not exactly knowing what to think of it.   _'He thinks Bucky likes me?'_

Steve grumbled and laid in his bed listening to his music on his phone. He closed his eyes and started to doze off. Nearly asleep he was jolted awake when one of his ear buds was yanked from his ears. He sat up and gave his roommate a borderline angry look.

"What?" He snapped.

"I called your name ten times. What's wrong?" Bucky asked.

"Nothing." Steve said impatiently, moving around Bucky and going into the kitchen.

"Stevie obviously something is wrong, so would you please talk to me?"

"Nothing is wrong Buck. I'm fine." He sighed, watching Bucky's face.

Bucky's eyebrows furrowed and went back into his room, slamming the door loudly.

Steve followed his example, and went to his own room, minus the slamming.He reclined back on the bed and put his headphones in.

~*~

When Steve woke up the next morning, he peaked his head out his bedroom door, but Bucky's door was still firmly shut, but he could hear noises coming from the room still. He sidled across the hallway and knocked quietly."Buck?"

A rough voice answered,"Go away."

Steve turned the doorknob surprised to find it unlocked. He opened it and looked in, attempting to locate his roommate in the dark room. He stepped in, tapping the floor with his feet so he wouldn't fall over. Steve's sight adjusted to the room, and he found Bucky, a lump on the bed, curled into the fetal position. "Bucky? You okay?"

Steve saw the lump twitch slightly, and he moved closer to the bed. He knew that he shouldn't spook or scare Bucky, so he lowered his voice slightly and asked again, "Bucky? You okay pal?"

" 'm fine." He said, and then, like an after thought, "Leave me alone."

"Did you get any sleep?" Steve asked ignoring the other man. He sat down beside the bed and waited for an answer. Slowly Bucky pulled the blanket from his face, and stared at Steve. Steve couldn't see his face well, other than the general shape. He saw Bucky shake his head and he sighed.

"Why not?" He asked, lifting a hand and setting it on Bucky's head.

Bucky nuzzled into it slightly and sighed. "Nightmares mostly."

"Awh, Buck..."

"Your awful pretty in the mornings." Bucky whispered.

Steve was taken back and he looked around the room. His face froze when he located the empty bottle of whiskey on the table beside Bucky's bed.

"Are you drunk too?" He asked.

"It helps..."

Steve sighed and stood. He felt Bucky reach out a hand and grab his wrist in a iron grip and looked down at him. "I'll be right back. Gonna get you some aspirin and water, pal."

The brunette was hesitant to let go, but he eventually loosened his grip and let his arm fall to the bed. Steve walked out of the room, careful not to fall over any of the clothes thrown all over. He grabbed medicine and water and shuffled back into Bucky's room, and set the water on the bedside table. He sat down on the bed, and shook Bucky slightly. He maneuvered Bucky to sit up and helped him take the medicine and guide the drink to his mouth.

"There ya go." He said, laying him back down. Bucky pulled Steve down towards him and wrapped his arms around the blonde. Steve didn't even struggle, just relaxed into the other's hold. He figured Bucky would be a clingy drunk but he didn't realize that he would be the one Bucky was cuddling.

Steve reached up and ran his fingers over the other's long hair. They sat curled up on the bed, Steve petting his head and before long Bucky had fallen asleep.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who procrastinated writing anything for like three weeks??? Me. Anyways, feedback is appreciated. I'll try and update soon.

Steve had enlisted Bucky's help to get his artwork to the building that the Stark Gala would be at. Bucky was walking with the art, and Steve was helping to guide him out of the way of oncoming New Yorkers.

 

"Stevie are we gonna be there soon?" Bucky asked, poking his head around the canvas.

 

"Soon Buck. I promise." Steve said, watching the walk sign turn green. He absently raised a hand and gestured for Bucky to follow.

"I just wanted to know. I'm starving back here!"

 

"I told you to get up and eat when you had the chance, Bucky." Steve sighed.

"I know, I know. But still..."

"Yes, we can go get something to eat after we drop this off." Steve said leading Bucky up the steps to a large white building. He opened the door and followed Bucky inside. Bucky sat the canvas down and looked around whistling lowly at the high dome ceilings and sparkling floors of the entrance. "This place is _fancy_."

 

"Yeah." Steve hummed, "It's really nice. I wonder where they want this set up at."

"If you'll follow me i'll show you."

Steve spun around towards the voice finding a pretty red head standing behind him.

"Pepper Potts. Nice to meet you." She said offering out a hand.

"Hello Miss Potts. Steve Rogers."

"Pepper is fine. Now if you'll follow me." She said offering a kind smile and turning.

Steve turned to Bucky and gave him the signal to come along. He speed walked to keep up with Pepper, wondering idly how in the world she could manage to move so quickly in such high heels.

"I didn't think that you would be the one here to greet us."

"Mr.Stark likes his things to be done correctly, and so he asked me to assist today."

"Ah. This is Bucky. He's my roommate and temporary artwork carrier for the day."

"Hello." Pepper said coming to a stop next to a large stand. "You can just set it down here for now. Do you mind if I peek?"

"Oh, no no! Go on!" Steve said.

Pepper stepped forward and pulled the blanket covering the front. "Oh. It's amazing." She said quickly.

"Thank you. I take it Mr.Stark will like it?"

"Most certainly."

"Great. I suppose we'll be going now."

"Oh, Mr. Rogers I assume we'll see you tonight?"

"Tonight?" Steve asked confused.

"Well yes... The gala is tonight. You will be attending correct?" Pepper asked.

Steve's eyes widened and his mouth gaped. "Tonight? Gala? I didn't know I had to attend."

"Yes, Mr. Stark expects you to be there. Will you be able to make it?"

"I-...Of course. Black tie event?" Steve stuttered.

"Yes."

"Alright then. " Steve said waving. Bucky matched his pace as he walked out of the room Pepper had led them into.

"Stevie? You got something to wear?"

"Nope." Steve said.

Bucky chuckled as he pushed open the door for Steve, leading him out into the cold, windy weather.

"Follow me then."

~*~

"Bucky this looks terrible on me." Steve said, his voice whiny and high pitched, and slightly muffled because of the door.

"Come on Stevie, I wanna see! Come outta there!" Bucky retorted, shuffling his feet.

 

A loud groan came from the stall and then Bucky heard the door unlatch. He looked up quickly as the door slid open and Steve came out. Bucky had to do a double take, struggling to close his mouth. Steve looked  _amazing._ The shirt and jacket fit his slim figure and the pants gripped his ass tightly. Bucky's eyes may have lingered there if he weren't so distracted by Steve's bright red face. 

"Awh what's wrong Stevie!? It looks great!"

 

"It does? Maybe I should get a size bigge-"

 

"Steve you look amazing." Bucky said, setting his hands on Steve's shoulders. He looked around and pushed Steve towards the mirror, holding him in place. "There now do you believe me?"

Steve looked up and down his body in shock. He ran his hands up and down the suit jacket, straightening it out. The navy color of the tie, making his eyes stand out, bright blue against his pale skin. "Wow." He whispered.

 

Bucky grinned and laughed. "Do you have contacts?"

"Um, no."

"Well that's fine. The glasses work well on you at least."

 

Steve felt his cheeks burn and he looked down and away, coughing to clear his throat. "I'm just gonna...change so we can go." He rushed into the stall and shut the door, locking it quickly.

After changing he quickly payed for the suit and followed Bucky to a restaurant to eat.

 

 

 

"So Buck..What are your plans for the night?"

"I was gonna go out and get a drink with Sam."

 

Steve glared across the table. "Really now?"Bucky rolled his eyes and sighed, "I'm a big boy Steve. I'll be fine."

Steve sent him an unwavering stare, eyebrows high on his forehead.

"I promise I won't do anything stupid." Bucky said.

Steve kept his eyes on Bucky all the way through lunch, and still giving him side glances on their way home.

~*~

Steve fixed the tie around his neck and looked in the mirror. He pushed the side of his glasses up and straightened out his suit jacket. He looked out the door to his bedroom one last time and walked across the hall to the bedroom mirroring his. "Hey, you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine Steve. I'll sit in and watch a movie."

"I just feel bad. Why don't you come with me?"

"Because i'll make you late, and i'm sure you don't want me there. It's fine. Just because Sam canceled on me doesn't mean you have to take pity on me."

"I'm not taking pity on you Buck. " Steve said, honesty shining in his eyes.

Bucky groaned and stood, shoving Steve towards the door. "Go on or you'll be late."

"I'm going, i'm going." He replied, allowing his body to be manhandled. He paused to put on his coat, and grab his keys. Bucky watched from his place leaned against the wall, a small smile on his face.

"Okay, i'm gonna go now." Steve said waving and backing out the door. Bucky waved back and watched the door shut, standing in place longer than necessary.

He finally sighed and pushed off the wall, trekking into his room, and grabbed his phone and and the bottle of Jack Daniels hiding in the bottom of his closet. Steve had attempted to clean out his stash but he had managed to hide much of it.

He shuffled into the living room and slumped on the couch flipping the television on to a random movie that was playing. It was an awful horror movie, and Bucky decided to make a drinking game out of the terrible tropes in it.

~*~

Steve waved a hand for a cab and hugged his body for warmth when one finally saw him. He yanked open the door and launched himself in, shutting it and shivering faintly. He gasped for breath and looked up at the driver in the mirror. The driver looked worried and Steve shook his head and told him where to head. The driver still looked at him cautiously but Steve didn't even notice too busy staring up at the window to his apartment and chewing his lip. 

~*~

Bucky was well on his way to being drunk, having downed his whole bottle of alcohol nearly. The movie he was watching had ended and another had started right after. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open and he had the compelling urge to curl up with his head in someone's lap. He put the bottle to his lips and pulled the rest of the liquor from it, settling it on the ground with a soft _thump._ The television was becoming hard to concentrate on so he turned it off and shut his eyes.

~*~

Steve payed the taxi driver and crawled from the vehicle, looking around self consciously as he did so. He walked into the building he and Bucky had visited earlier dropping off his artwork, and instantly a gentleman popped out of nowhere and took his coat before Steve even fully got in the door. Anxiously he watched the finely dressed people around him filter into the building, talking and laughing loudly. He walked slowly to the large ballroom, following a red head in a a shimmery cocktail dress, and trying not to run into anyone. As soon as he entered through the door he was amazed by the high ceilings and the grandness of the room. There was a band in the front playing soft music which could only barely be heard over the roar of the chatting guests. Steve took a champagne glass from the tray a passing waiter held, smiling kindly at him. He sipped his drink as he walked to the edge of the large room, trying his best to blend in with the wallpaper.

A slow song started playing and Steve watched couples appear from thin air and make their way to the dance floor. He drank his champagne, watching the pairs dance from over the brim of his glass. His solitude was broken when someone tapped on his shoulder, causing him to jump and spill his drink down the front of his jacket. He stared down at the spill in horror. His state of shock was broken when a handful of napkins was shoved into his view. He took them and dabbed at the spot, wiping the champagne away carefully.

After he cleaned up what he could, he looked up to the person who had got him napkins and was greeted with Pepper's smiling face.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine. I was zoned out."

She giggled softly and shook her head at him, "I could tell."

 

Steve chuckled and smiled at Pepper. "Where's Mr. Stark if you don't mind me asking?"

"He's around here somewhere." She said. She leaned towards him and grinned,"I made him talk to some shareholders. Probably a bad idea really, but he was following me around."

 

Steve huffed out a laugh, and Pepper smiled. She made a noise like she was about to say something else, when two hands snaked around her head and covered her eyes. Steve watched Pepper grip one of the hands and bring the person to stand beside her so their arm was around her shoulders.

 

"Well I guess we found Tony."

 

Tony waved at Steve, and turned to Pepper, an eyebrow raised in curiosity, "And who is this?"

 

Pepper rolled her eyes and gestured towards Steve. "This is Steve Rogers. He painted the piece for the Gala."

 

Tony nodded and grabbed Steve's hand, shaking it. "Ah. Big fan of your work."

 

Steve blushed and looked away slightly, a nervous laugh threatening to bubble forth.

Tony continued,"A friend of mine showed me one of your pieces and I knew that you would be perfect."

Steve heard Pepper huff slightly, and shake her head. "And by that he means that _I_ suggested you."

 

Tony pointed towards her and nodded his head. He held up the arm around Pepper shoulders, and pulled he sleeve to expose a shiny silver watch. He took his arm back and tapped Pepper, and then nodded up at the stage. Pepper gestured for Steve to follow, and he trailed behind the two, trying to not get crushed beneath the hoard of dancers. The red head tapped on the shoulder of a man with a clipboard and a wire in his ear. He nodded and went into a room, while she walked up on onto the stage, and took the microphone.

 

The music stopped and Pepper tapped the microphone to get the crowds attention.

 

"Hello everyone! Thank you for joining us tonight for the annual Stark Charity Gala." The crowd clapped. Pepper waited for complete silence before she continued, "Now, those of you that have attended this event before know that we commission a piece to be auctioned off, and that the proceeds from this piece will be added to the amount that we donate, along with the money that was raised." Behind Pepper two men were putting the canvas onto an easel, a sheet with the Stark logo covering the picture. The two men stood off to the side while the red head stepped back towards the painting. She gripped the sheet, and smiled wide, "Presenting artwork from New York's own Steve Rogers."

 

Steve watched the fabric slide off to the floor and the gasps from behind him. He smiled and looked around at the people beside him, all staring at his work. Pepper raised her hand and pointed at the painting. "Isn't it gorgeous? Do we have any bids?"

A hand shot up in front of Steve, and he was shocked anybody actually wanted his painting. Pepper pointed at the hand and they shouted a loud "600 dollars!"

Pepper clicked her tongue and shook her head, "Come on we can do better than that! Can I get a 800?!"

 

Someone shouted 900 from somewhere behind Steve and suddenly the room was filled with yells, each increasing in price. Steve's heart was pounding, and he was feeling lightheaded by the time they had hit 1200 dollars. The red head shouted and suddenly they had reached 1500. The shouting persisted and with each increase, he could feel his palms getting sweatier and sweatier. He nervously wiped them on his pants, swallowing dryly.

 

Pepper screamed sold, and a blonde woman with a dark green cocktail dress sauntered up on the stage, smiling wide. She followed the men carrying the art offstage, ordering them to follow her to her ride. Pepper set the mic back in it's stand and stepped down off the stage, taking Tony's arm and marching towards Steve.

"Wow. It..sold..." Steve whispered.

Tony laughed and exclaimed, "What you thought it wouldn't? Buddy,that was amazing."

 

"Thanks." Steve exclaimed.

 

"How about we take our seats?" Pepper asked, "We should be eating shortly."

 

Steve nodded and followed them to a table at the front of the room.

 

~*~

Bucky shuffled towards Steve's door and knocked softly. When no reply came he pushed it open, and peaked inside. His depth perception was off, and he was close to passing out drunk in the hallway, so he carefully walked in. He poked the bed and whispered a soft "Steve...". When no reply came he leaned down and patted the bed, whispering again. "Steve..?" He fell forwards on the mattress. He closed his eyes and thought for a moment, taking his time to remember where Steve was tonight.

_'The Gala thing. That's right.'_

He wiggled around until he could pull his phone out of pocket, blinking and shielding his eyes when the screen came on. He squinted and let his vision adjust before he unlocked it and opened his messages. He quickly typed a message to Steve, and sent it before he could really read it over.

**To: Stevie**

**-Wgen r u gona b hom?-**

 

He got a reply back quickly.

**From: Stevie**

**\- I don't know. Don't wait up. Are you drunk?-**

Bucky snorted and typed back.

**To: Stevie**

**-No. Tierd. Mayeb a litke tipsy.-**

 

 

**From: Stevie**

**-Dammit Buck. Why do you gotta go and do stuff like this ya big jerk?**

**I'm not gonna be home to watch you for awhile so just go to bed alright.-**

 

**To: Stevie**

**-Am nota jerk.adn no i dont wanna go to bed.-**

 

Bucky huffed impatiently. He wasn't ready to go to bed yet. He wanted to see Steve when he got home and ask how the gala went. Bucky's phone buzzed and he read the new text.

**From: Stevie**

**-Buck, go to bed. Seriously. If I come home and your not in**

**your bed i'm gonna be pissed.-**

 

**To: Stevie**

**-What if it's noit my bed-**

 

**From: Stevie**

**\- Well the couch is fine too, but you probably don't wanna try**

**and sleep on that thing while drunk-**

 

**To: Stevie**

**-No i mean ur bed-**

 

**From: Stevie**

**-Why are you in my bed?-**

 

**To: Stevie**

**-Wanted to talk 2u-**

Bucky told himself that was the reason he was in Steve's bed and not because it smelt like the blonde man.

 

**From: Stevie**

**-Oh. What did you wanna talk to me about?-**

 

**To: Stevie**

**\- I miss you-**

 

Bucky stared at the text in shock, his brain finally catching up. He sat up and looked down at the phone. "Shit, shit, shit!"

 

Bucky turned off his phone and tossed it to the end of the bed, looking down at it in horror.

 

_'Guess i'm not as drunk as I thought.'_

_~*~_

 

Steve was eating when he felt his phone vibrate in his front pocket. He quickly pulled it out, thinking it might be an emergency. He hid it under the table as he opened the text.

**From: Bucky**

**-Wgen r u gona b hom?-**

He glared down at the text and replied back, scowling.

**\- I don't know. Don't wait up. Are you drunk?-**

Bucky texted him back quickly, and Steve replied again. He told Bucky to go to bed but the other man was being stubborn, and wouldn't listen. Bucky said that he was in Steve's bed, and Steve imagined Bucky vomiting in his bed, and texted him back in a hurry to ask _why_ he chose Steve's bed.

 

**-Wanted to talk 2u-**

 

Steve raised an eyebrow and glanced around the table, but no one was paying any attention to him. He looked back at his phone and sent another message.

 

**-Oh. What did you wanna talk to me about?-**

 

Bucky replied instantly.

**From: Bucky**

- **I miss you-**

Steve read the message, and the re-read it again, and again.  _'He misses me? What does he mean by that?! '_ He wondered. Bucky didn't say anything else so Steve decided to play it off as a joke. 

 

 

**To: Bucky**

**-You're drunker than you think, Buck.-**

 

Bucky didn't text back immediately so Steve let the screen go dark and put it back in his pocket. He looked up at the table again, and everyone, except Pepper was involved in the conversation. Pepper was looking at him, worry in her eyes. She laid a hand on his and leaned towards him to whisper quietly, "Everything okay?"

Steve coughed to clear his throat and nodded, "Yeah. Just...roommate problems." He whispered back.

"Bucky?"

"Yeah."

Pepper, figuring she wouldn't get anything else,squeezed his hand briefly and smiled. She pulled her back into her own lap and rejoined the conversation. No one noticed Steve sitting quietly, twisting the napkin in his hands until it was in shreds.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Two weeks flew by and I didn't write shit. This chapter is rushed and sort of a filler, but I wanted to get something posted. Feedback is appreciated greatly.

Steve carefully unlocked the door and tiptoed inside. He set his keys on the table next to the door and slid his shoes off so he could carry them to his room.

The party had lasted much longer than he thought it would and he wasn't able to leave until after midnight. By the time he had been able to get a cab and make it home, it was nearing two, and he was feeling exhausted.

The apartment was dark and silent. He assumed Bucky was probably asleep, so he didn't bother to check, instead going into his room. He used his phone to light his path, checking the bed to see if Bucky had fallen asleep earlier. The blanket was ruffled but there was no one in it, and after sneaking a look at the couch, Steve concluded that Bucky had fallen asleep in his own room. He turned on his bedside lamp and changed into his pajamas, laying out the suit so it wouldn't wrinkle. He didn't feel like dealing with it tonight, when all he really wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep.

Steve quickly brushed his teeth, and crawled into the bed, curling up with the blankets over his face. He fell asleep to the sounds of the steady hum for the heating unit and Brooklyn outside his window.

~*~

Bucky heard Steve moving around despite the other man trying to be quiet. It was one of the downsides of being his roommate; Bucky was a light sleeper from his years overseas and Steve made noise like a herd of elephants tap dancing in their living room at 3 AM.

He laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling, remembering his blunder from earlier. If he was lucky Steve wouldn't bring it up in the morning, and Bucky wouldn't have to explain to Steve that he wasn't kidding when he had admitted that he missed him. Though Bucky was having trouble deciding if he missed Steve because he is a terribly clingy drunk, or if it was for the _other reason_. The thoughts were going around and around in his head, and he was sure he wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

He was awake still when he heard Steve stumbling around in the hallway, whistling a happy tune, and singing. He blinked and looked at this bedside clock, reading 11:00. He had been so lost in his thoughts he didn't even realize that the sun had come up. He continued to lay in bed until the pressure on his bladder became too much and he had to jump up and rush his way to the bathroom. He barely made it in time, slamming the door in his rush to shut it, and tripping on the bath rug in front of the shower.

He washed his hands and stared into the mirror, poking at the dark circles beneath his eyes, and frowning. There was no way Steve wasn't gonna be able to that he hadn't slept any. He brushed his hair back with his fingers and secured it with the hair tie he always kept around his wrist for emergencies, and then bent down to wash his face in the sink. He was splashing cold water on himself when there was a knock at the bathroom door, and Steve's muffled voice. "Buck? You okay in there?"

Bucky glanced around in slight panic and cleared his throat, "Fine. Just...doing my business."

"Alright....I'm making breakfast..if you feel up to it."

"Okay. I'll be right out." He called, looking in the mirror and closing his eyes. Bucky heard Steve pad away from the bathroom and let out a breath. He just has to act nonchalant about the text so it wouldn't be brought up. He opened the bathroom door and crept towards the kitchen. Steve was standing at the stove, facing away from Bucky, singing and shaking his hips to the song on the radio. Bucky watched, hypnotized, as Steve wiggled back and forth. Bucky was so lost in the way the blonde was dancing he didn't notice Steve turn around until he shouted a loud, "Holy fuck- eehejk" and promptly dropped the spatula he was using to flip pancakes. Bucky lifted an amused eyebrow and smiled, and Steve glared back, a hand pressed over his heart. Bucky frowned when he remembered Steve mentioning something about a heart condition, and he instantly felt bad. He rushed towards the blonde to pick up the spatula, looking down at him in worry when he accepted it.

"You okay?"

"You scared the ever living hell outta me. Think you could give a person some warning when you wanna do that scary silent assassin shit?"

Bucky laughed and moved to stand beside the fridge, "And miss out on your reactions? But Stevie it's so much fun."

"Har har har." Steve said moving to put the spatula in the sink and get another one. He flipped the pancake currently in the pan and moved towards the cabinets where they kept the plates. He stood on his tiptoes and waved his hand uselessly, despite knowing very well he couldn't reach the shelf. He moved to hop onto the counter when Bucky's metal arm glided past his head and grabbed two plates down. He turned and glared at the tall brunette, taking the plates from his hands with a huff. "You know I could have got those myself."

Bucky shrugged and nodded, "You could have, but I got them. Your already making breakfast let me set the table eh?" He said taking the plates from Steve's hands and marching towards the table. Steve huffed again and went back to the stove to finish making the pancakes.

"So..Bucky?" Steve asked nervously.

Bucky swallowed silently hoped he wasn't gonna say anything about the text from the night before. "Yeah?"

"What are you planning on doing for Christmas?"

Bucky froze for a second. "Buck?" Steve asked.

"Huh? Oh um... I don't know. Why?"

Steve set the plate piled high with pancakes on the table. " I don't know. I don't really have anyone to spend the holiday with so I was just gonna hang around here."

"Oh. I was thinking about going and seeing my sister."

Steve sat down in the chair quietly and hummed. "You have a sister?" He questioned looking up in shock.

"Yeah. Her name's Rebecca. Well... I call her Becca." Bucky said taking a seat beside Steve.

"Oh." Steve said pushing his food around on his plate. Bucky watched him, and building up the courage he mumbled, "I could invite her here instead? We would probably end up staying in her tiny apartment the whole time otherwise."

The blonde's head popped up, and he stared at Bucky. He looked hesitant, like he was thinking over the repercussions of Bucky inviting his sister to come to their apartment for Christmas, before his face broke out into a smile and he nodded.

"Alright." He responded.

Bucky smiled back, and dug into his breakfast, happily chewing the pancakes.

~*~

After breakfast, Bucky helped clear the table, and wash dishes. Steve turned off the sink after the last plate, and turned towards Bucky. Bucky waited for Steve to speak, anxiously tapping his foot. When Steve didn't say anything Bucky sighed out, "What is it?"

"You...texted me last night."

Bucky felt himself freeze for the second time that morning, and he waited for Steve to continue.

"You were drunk. So either you went out and got more alcohol, or you have some really good hiding places for your stash. So..Which is it?"

Bucky turned away from Steve and mumbled, "Stash."

Steve sighed and beckoned Bucky to follow him. He marched towards the brunette's room, pushing the door open and letting Bucky go in first. "So are you gonna pull it out of do I have to dig through your shit?"

Bucky groaned and walked towards his closet. He pulled out two other bottles he had hidden in it, handing them to Steve. Steve raised and eyebrow and Bucky groaned louder and walked towards the bedside table, pulling out the drawer with the false bottom and handing him the vodka hidden in it.

"That it?"

Bucky nodded, slightly shameful. He knew Steve was trying to help him, but he couldn't but to resent being treated like a child just a bit.

"Good. And don't you go buy anymore now." He grumbled, stomping from the room. Bucky heard him in the kitchen, opening the bottles and pouring them down the sink, and throwing the bottles away. He sighed and picked up his phone switching it on. A message alert popped up and he opened it.

**From: Stevie**

**-You're drunker than you think, Buck.-**

Steve thought it was just Bucky being drunk. He decided if that's what Steve thought, it was better to not correct him.

He pulled up his contacts and clicked on sisters name. He pressed the call button while he lied back on the bed. The dial tone rang in his ear as he waited for the phone to be answered. Finally a cheery voice answered. "Bucky!"

Bucky grinned. Even when he was in an awful mood his little sisters voice was enough to make him happy again. _'Sorta like Steve does now too.'_ He brushed that thought off.

"Becca!" He sang out.

"Hey. How's it going in Brooklyn?"

"It's good. So, listen about Christmas-"

"James Buchanan Barnes, if you cancel Christmas-"

"I'm not canceling. I was just wondering if you want to tweak the plans?"

"Uh sure. But your cutting it a little close aren't you? Christmas is in week you know."

"I know, I know. Now would you listen, my roommate doesn't have anyone to spend the holidays with so I was wondering if instead of coming down there, you come up here?"

Becca hummed. "That sounds fine. What should I get your roommate for Christmas?"

"Uh...I don't know."

"Well what did you buy him?" Becca asked innocently.

"I didn't-"

"Bucky! You haven't bought him anything? Ma would've kicked your ass if she heard that."

Bucky huffed. "I know, I know. I've been busy lately. And he's not the easiest person to _buy_ for you know."

"What does he like?" She queried.

"Art...?"

"Does he like art or do you just have absolutely no clue?"

Bucky grumbled slightly, " I assume he likes it. He does it for a living."

"Oh.. Is he any good?"

Bucky smiled thinking of the painting Steve had done for the Charity Gala. "Yeah, Bec he's amazing."

His sister sighed over the phone, and whispered, "You like him."

"What? No, I-"

"Bucky, we're siblings. I can tell when your crushing."

Bucky was silent on his end. A nagging thought in the back of his head kept telling him he liked Steve, he just wasn't sure if he was ready to admit it.

"I guess i'll start packing. I'll be up there probably Wednesday afternoon right after my last class."

 

Bucky nodded, and realizing she couldn't see, he said "Yeah. Okay. See you then." Becca hung up the phone and Bucky did the same.

Steve walked back into the room, and Bucky sat up so he could talk. "I called Becca, she say's she'll be up Wednesday afternoon." Steve grinned. "Alright. I've got some errands to run.I'll be back in an hour."

He waited in the doorway for a moment before he waved and left. Bucky laid back down again and groaned loudly.

~*~

Steve decided that he needed to go and get his Christmas gifts. He was still sketchy on what to get Bucky and now Bucky's sister but he figured if he just walked around a bit he would know exactly what to get them. He wasn't sure how old Bucky's sister was, so that really made it hard to find her anything, but he finally pick up a big blanket and some kind of fancy chocolates for her. He was having more trouble picking out Bucky's gift, not exactly sure what he brunette man liked, but he was trying his best.

He had gone through most of the store by the time he managed to find a nice pair of gloves, ones that he knew Bucky could wear when he rode his motorcycle. He went ahead and bought the gloves, and left the store, heading towards his favorite coffee shop. He ordered his drink and plopped down at a table beside the window, settling his feet in the booth seat across from him and looking out the window.

People outside rushed by in a hurried manner, fast walking and weaving through the crowd. That was New York though, never slowing down, even for a single second. Steve was born and raised here, but the mentality never quite stuck. He preferred to sit back and relax, and watch the view around him; Especially at this time of year. The glowing lights, twinkling on the buildings and in store windows, the decorations on the trees, the department store Santa's wandering around, they all gave Steve a warm feeling in his stomach.

Christmas had been a difficult time after his mother passed away and he was left alone for the first time. He didn't have many friends, and he stayed inside most the time, hiding from the outside world. On Christmas Eve he sat in front of the small fire he had built in his apartment, and drank hot cocoa, watching movie after movie, as was tradition to do so every year. He passed out around nine AM and slept through most of Christmas, only getting up to make himself macaroni and cheese for a quick dinner.

Steve finishes his drink and makes his way back to his apartment, taking the elevator up to his floor. His elderly neighbor was outside her apartment struggling to unlock the door, and Steve kindly took her bags from her hands, and carried them in for her. She smiled at him thankfully and gave him a plate of cookies to share with Bucky. Steve entered his own apartment, throwing his keys down on the table beside the door and walking through to drop his bags off in his room. Bucky was stretched out on the couch watching a horror film.

Steve flung himself over the back of the couch, landing in the space left by Bucky's legs. "Whatcha watching?" He asked grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the brunette's stomach. Bucky grunted and kicked Steve softly, taking a handful for himself. "I don't know. It was on, and it's not awful, but it's extremely stereotypical. You know, pretty girl, jock, nerd the extremely innocent, can do no wrong girl."

Steve nodded and took another handful of popcorn. They sat in silence, except for the loud noise one of them made after the movie, when only the 'can do no wrong' character was still alive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long to write and it's a lot of stop-start writing and I hate it. But nonetheless here is another chapter, and as always your feedback is always greatly appreciated.

Wednesday came and Bucky and Steve rushed to clean their apartment. Despite both men being tidy, they still hadn't done much cleaning in their home. Bucky cleaned the bathroom while Steve swept the floor and dusted, fixing the kitchen up so it didn't appear as a disaster area. Steve had finished cleaning the kitchen and Bucky was putting the supplies away when a buzz rang out through the apartment. Bucky flipped around and smiled at Steve, rushing towards the box. "We have great timing!" he yelled.

Steve laughed and followed at a much more sedate pace, waiting patiently while Bucky ran down stairs to help his sister with her bags. Bucky pushed opened the door, carrying a large suitcase, with a dark haired woman following behind. She stopped just inside the apartment and whistled, looking around at the living room of it. "Wow, Bucky. Nice place." She finally caught sight of Steve standing in front of her and dropped her bag, rushing forward and enveloping him in a hug. She was an inch taller than him, and he huffed but hugged her back, turning his head so he wasn't getting a mouthful of her hair. "You must be Steve. I just wanted to say thank you for taking this guy in. I know he can be hard to deal with. " She said smiling sincerely. Steve grinned and laughed.

"It was no problem really. I needed a roommate, he did too." He said shrugging. Steve noticed that both Barnes siblings had dark hair and bright blue eyes, Becca's less haunted than Bucky's, but the same. Bucky cleared his throat and huffed, "If you two are done, i'm just gonna go put Becca's bags in my room. You can stay in there."

Becca flipped around, hands on her hips, and stern expression, "Bucky! I am not taking your bed from you when you only just got a real bed to come back to! I will be perfectly fine sleeping on the couch." Bucky flinched but made to argue. Steve cleared his throat and interjected, "Maybe you would want my room instead?"

Becca turned her cold glare on Steve instead, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged, "It wouldn't feel right making a guest sleep on the couch. We have a blow up bed I can use." Becca's glare was unwavering and Steve knew that besides Bucky, he might have finally met his match in stubbornness. " Really it's no problem."

"I can take the bed then and you can keep your bed Steve. I'm not taking anyone's beds." She said. Bucky watched from over her shoulder, amused at the argument between his roommate and sister. Steve sent a pleading look towards him, raising his eyebrows and shifting his glance as if to say, 'Say something to your sister.' . Bucky shook his head and smiled. "If that's really want you want Bec. I'll put your bags in my room still."

Becca nodded and watched Bucky open a door and set her bags inside, shutting it and walking back towards them. He clapped his hands in front of him and looked between Steve and Becca. "Who's hungry?"

~*~

Bucky turned up the heat on the stove and place the chicken into the pan, seemingly not paying attention to the stares of Steve and Becca. They were sat at the table, drinking wine and talking.

"Wow. You got him to cook!"

Steve took a sip of his wine and swallowed, "Does he not...cook?"

"I mean he did cook. He used to help our mom out in the kitchen a lot when I was little but I haven't seen him cook in years."

Steve looked back at Bucky, who was adding spices to the food. "Huh. He cooks for me a lot. I mean we both cook, and do dish duty but..." Becca turned to him wide eyed. "You got him to do dishes?"

"Uh...yeah? We share chores." Becca hummed to herself shaking her head, and they continued to watch Bucky cook and sip at their wine leisurely.

~*~

After dinner they sat around on the couch sharing stories, Becca sprawled out across the couch, Bucky at one end, under her feet, and Steve sitting in the chair facing her.

"I should really be getting to bed." Bucky sighed.

Steve and Becca turned to look at him, both confused at his statement.

"Unlike some people-," He said turning to look at Steve, "-I actually have to leave the apartment to go to work."

"Awh dammit. I forgot it was only Wednesday." Steve groaned.

"Hey Steve, why don't you take Bec out tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that's sounds good. How 'bout it?" Steve asked.

"Alright." Becca said, standing and going to the bathroom to brush her teeth. All three split to get ready for bed,Bucky and Steve to their rooms and Becca to the air mattress in the living room.

 

~*~

Steve staggered from his bedroom the next morning, sleepily rubbing at his eyes. He made his way to the kitchen and got himself a cup of coffee, stumbling back into the living room, and walking back to his bedroom. As he walked out of the kitchen, he started to take a long drink from his cup, when a voice rang out across the room, startling him. He jumped, managing to not spill his coffee, and turned around to look down at the blow up bed where Bucky's sister was sitting, staring at him, a cup of her own.

"How are you?" She asked politely, watching him over the top of her cup.

 

"Well I would have been much better if you hadn't of tried to give me a heart attack first thing in the morning.You're as bad as Bucky with the scary silent ninja shit."

Becca giggled and nodded. "Our mom used to say that she was gonna put bells on us."

Steve smiled fondly, and walked around to sit on the chair beside the bed. "It sounds like me and your mom had the same idea then. I think i'm gonna get Bucky a bell for Christmas."

"Yeah,-" Becca said softly,"-she was always saying stuff like that."

Steve nodded. "My mom used to hassle me about wearing layers. Always said 'Steven Grant Rogers, you go back in that room and put on a sweater, you're gonna catch your death.'." He chuckled, "Of course she was right, often as I was sick as a kid. She had the right to worry about me like that I s'pose."

"You got sick a lot?"

"Hah, I still do. No, now it's Bucky nagging me about my layers."

"He means well." She whispered.

"I know." Steve smiled, "He's a great guy."

"Steve...Can I ask you something?" Becca asked, swirling her finger around the rim of her cup.

"Sure." Steve said sipping his coffee.

"Do you like Bucky? And not like a friend."

Steve spluttered and coughed. "I mean- well- I- and he's- but he doesn't- maybe."

Becca turned her gaze on him and smiled wide, "That's all I wanted to know."

"What? Did he- did he say something to you about me?" Steve asked, shyly.

"No. Not really." She said, tilting her head at him.

"Oh. Well. We should probably get dressed so we can go. I promised Buck I would take you out today."

"Right." Becca said, throwing the blanket off her lap and stretching to set the cup down on the coffee table. Steve stood and walked back to his room, mumbling to himself.

~*~

"Oh my gosh. Wait, no wait. I want a picture. Hold still. There we go! I'm totally sending that to Bucky."

"Oh no." Steve groaned, standing off of the evil looking Santa's lap. Becca furiously typed at her phone and then smiled, showing Steve what she had said along with the picture.

**-The Santa is stealing your man Bucky-**

Steve groaned louder and covered his face, trying to stop the blush from spreading. "I hate you. See I was gonna buy you lunch but now i'm not."

Becca cackled and elbowed him. "Oh come on! It was kinda funny."

"Nope. No. You're an evil woman. Evil." He said pointing at her. She smiled wide and put her phone back in her pocket and followed Steve out of the store they were in. Steve held the door open for her to a small shop. The smell of warm coffee and food assaulted their noses and they quickly took a table near the window, settling down.

"This place serves the best chocolate cake." He said, taking off his coat.

"The best? I might try it. Though you haven't lived until you've had my chocolate cake. I'll make some for you while i'm here."

Steve grinned, "I'm holding you to that."

A waitress walked up to the table and took their order, smiling at Steve as if Becca wasn't sitting right there. Steve smiled politely but showed no other attention to her. Becca glared up at her until she walked away and then turned to look at Steve again. "So...you like my brother?"

"I didn't say that."

"You said 'Maybe' "

"That's not a yes."

"It's not a no."

"No. It's not." Steve replied, "But it doesn't mean he feels the same."

Becca laughed. " True."

The waitress brought them their order and Steve watched Becca take a bite of the cake.

"Okay you're right. This cake is damn fine."

"Told you." Steve joked. He dug into his own dessert, the same as Becca's.

~*~

Steve and Becca went to a few more shops, deciding soon after that they should probably head back to the apartment. Steve signaled a cab and let Becca slide in first, holding the door open as she did.

"Thank you very much Steve."

Steve nodded and shut the door. He told the driver where to head and sat back. They both pulled out their phones and began to play on them. Steve jumped and looked over at Becca. She had laughed loudly and was covering her smile with her hand.

"Hey Steve." She whispered.

Steve looked down at her phone, seeing a reply back from Bucky.

**-Dammit Bec, he's not 'my guy'-**

Steve looked at her confused. "So? I'm not."

Becca rolled her eyes. "Steve...He wouldn't get so annoyed if I didn't know he liked you."

Steve side-eyed her and shook his head. She was being silly. Bucky didn't actually like him. Steve refused to believe that something might actually turn out right in his life for once, that he might actually _get the guy._

When the cab pulled up in front of the apartment Steve reached for his wallet but Becca handed the man money, and then sat waiting for Steve to exit the car. "You didn't have to pay for the cab."

"Yes I did. You payed for my lunch, i'm gonna pay for the cab." She huffed. She lightly pushed him and he finally opened the door, and got out. He helped her out of the car and shut the door. He followed her up the stairs to the building, and pressed the button on the elevator. Becca kept telling him jokes while they waited for the doors to open and by the time they had made it to their floor, Steve's face was red and he was hunched over laughing.

He unlocked the door to the apartment, still laughing, and took of his jacket and shoes. He heard the television in the living room on, and they walked through and found Bucky sitting on the couch. He looked over at their entrance and smiled. "You guys have a good time?"

"Yes. Steve took me to this place and Bucky they serve the best chocolate cake ever. Like better than mine! Then we went to this store and I made Steve try this thing on and- oh wait I have pictures!" She pulled out her phone and went through the photos they had taken all day. Steve went back to his room to put on his pajama bottoms and a sweater, and then back to the kitchen to start dinner.

"Hey guys? How does spaghetti sound?" He called from the kitchen.

Both Barnes siblings yelled a loud "Good!" from the living room. Steve huffed to himself and got out the pan for the noodles.

While he waited for the water to heat up he leaned against the doorway to the living room, watching Bucky and Becca argue. Bucky caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye and smiled, glancing at him before continuing his argument with Becca about which Christmas movie was the best.

~*~

Steve set the plates down on the table, and then went and got the bowl of noodles, setting it on a hot plate on the table. "Hey guys dinner is ready."

Becca and Bucky got up and came into the small dining area. Bucky sat to the right of Steve and Becca to the left, and immediately both began filling their plates. Becca took a bite and closed her eyes, groaning softly. "Alright Steve from now on, you're on dinner duty. This is so good."

Steve chuckled and turned to Bucky who had just taken a bite of his own food. "Steve makes the best spaghetti." He said, mouth full. Steve watched partly in disgust as some of the noodles tried to fall from his mouth.

"Buck can you not." He asked politely.

Bucky glanced up innocently and smiled, and then continued to shovel food into his mouth. "I suppose I could persuaded." He said, mouth full of noodles once again.

Steve groaned and dug into his own food while Becca laughed at them, one hand over her mouth, as not to spew food everywhere.

~*~

Becca had showered and sat on the blow up mattress in the living room, brushing out her hair. Steve walked through with a glass of water in hand, and waved at her, intending to head back to his bedroom. "Hey Steve?" Becca called.

Steve stopped and looked at her. "Yeah Bec?"

"Thank you. For taking me out and stuff.I can see why my brother likes you."

Steve stuttered and blushed,glancing at Bucky's closed door. "You're welcome."

Becca smiled and waved, leaning over and turning off the light, flooding the room with darkness. Steve continued towards his own room, sparing a peak over at the room opposite his as he shut the door. He crawled into bed and took off his glasses and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

~*~

The days before Christmas is a rush to get all of the decorations up in the apartment. Bucky and Steve put the tree up and they all work to decorate it. Steve strings the popcorn garland together while Bucky and Becca add lights to it. They all put the ornaments on, and Bucky lifts Becca up to place the star on it the tree. They all sit around and admire their handy work, drinking hot chocolate and eating sugar cookies Steve had made earlier in the day.

The Monday before Christmas Bucky arrives home to find the kitchen, covered in flour, and Steve and Becca sitting in the middle of it, laughing their asses off. Bucky could only watch fondly as his sister and roommate rolled around in the dusty substance, getting it all over their clothes and in hair.

"And who is gonna clean this up?" He asks, trying his best to be stern.

Steve looks over and laughs awkwardly. "I will?" He squeaks. Bucky holds the expression as long as he can before he breaks down laughing too. He's bent over, clutching at his stomach, chortling loudly, when suddenly he has a flour in his mouth, and his hair. He abruptly stops and glares up at the two, realizing exactly who the culprit is. Steve is sat with his hand still outstretched, and he smiles nervously. Bucky lets out a yell and jumps towards him, causing the other man to scramble for a purchase on the counter to pull himself up. Becca has already jumped out of the way, onto the safety of the counter, when Bucky catches Steve around the waist, holding him to his own body with one hand and grappling for the package of flour with the other hand. He gets a handful and unceremoniously drops it on Steve's head like a flurry of snow. Steve coughs and splutters still stuck in the others hold but pretty soon everyone in the kitchen is cackling wildly, and covered in flour.

Bucky dusts his hands off and walks towards the trashcan, doing his best to dust off the flour in his hair. The others do the same, and Bucky calls first shower, running to claim his prize, flour flying in his wake.

~*~

 

After the kitchen has been cleaned and everyone is washed, they sit around in the living room eating the cookies Steve and Becca had made before the flour war broke out. Their fake fireplace is lit and everyone was cozy and warm, watching the action movie Bucky had turned on.

Becca bit into her cookie and gestured at the screen, flinging crumbs. "I'm just saying, it's totally unrealistic!"

"Obviously were not watching for the realism. He just jumped from a window on the fourth floor in to helicopter! Earlier someone jumped from a window and landed unharmed, with nothing happening but the wind getting knocked from him!" Steve shouted, waving his own cookie.

Bucky snorted and shook his head."Guys will you stop critically analyzing the movie. I'm just watching it for the bad-ass assassin with the long hair."

"Fine." The others huffed, eating the rest of their cookies.

~*~

On Christmas morning Bucky is shocked awake when a weight comes crashing onto him. He sits up and pushes the assailant off, and a loud thunk echoes as they crash to the floor. Bucky flips on the light, already searching for his bedside weapon when he realizes that it's just Becca. She is sitting on the floor staring up and him and rubbing her butt,huffing. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that."

Bucky smirked and shook his head. She rolled her eyes and sprung to her feet. "Come on Buck! Get up! It's Christmas come on!" She shouted, tugging on his arm.

He groaned and covered his head with his blanket. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." Becca said.

Bucky uncovered his head and looked at her. She had a hand on her hip and eyebrows raised expectantly. He groaned again and sighed. "Fine. I'm coming." He threw off his covers and picked up the sleeping pants at the end of his bed, slipping them on. First he made a trip to the bathroom before softly knocking on Steve's door.

"Stevie? You awake yet?"

When no reply came, Bucky pushed the door open and looked inside. Steve was curled under the blankets, and it looked like a large lump in the middle of the bed. Bucky silently crept in and gently shook Steve. He groaned from under the blanket and Bucky slowly pulled it down. Blearily he blinked his eyes open, giving them a second to take everything in. He jumped, scared, and hastily pulled on his glasses, letting out a sigh of relief. "Not trying to be mean Buck but you kinda look a serial killer first thing in the morning."

Bucky snorted and grumbled. "Will you stop commenting on my appearance and get outta bed? Becca wants us to open gifts."

Steve sleepily yawned and got out of the bed, pushing the brunette to the side and putting on a sweater draped over his desk chair."Come on."

Bucky followed the shorter blonde from the room and into the living room, where Steve veered off to the kitchen and made them all coffee. They sat down around the tree, sipping at their drinks. Becca made it her job to pass out gifts, and waited while Bucky and Steve opened their gifts from her.

Steve gasped when he held up a fancy painting set, flipping the box every which way to see it. "Becca this is so nice. I can only imagine how much it must have been." He said, amazed. "Come here." He said setting the gift to the side and pulling her into a hug.

Becca smiled and hugged him back, and then turned her expectant stare on her brother. "Go on. Open it."

Bucky watched her from the corner of his eye while he opened his gift. She squealed when he held up a brand new leather jacket. He carefully looked at it, and nodded. "This is perfect Bec. Thanks."

"You're welcome! Okay, who wants to go next?" She asked.

Steve raised his hand, and Becca passed Bucky his gift and pulled her own into her lap. She opened hers and laughed. "Okay these are like my favorite chocolates. How'd you know?"

"I'm just really good at guessing." He replied with a shrug.

"Well thanks Steve."

He nodded at her and looked over at Bucky. Bucky had opened his gift and was staring at the gloves. He had bought two kinds, one finger-less, and one with a full fingers on it. Bucky smiled at him. "These are great. Perfect for riding my bike."

Steve grinned to himself, happy he had bought something the other would like. Becca handed out Bucky's gifts next, and sat patiently while Steve opened his. Bucky was rambling, saying that he hoped Steve liked it, and that he hadn't been sure what to buy him, and that it was hard to actually choose which one because he was clueless about the products. Steve was too busy to listen, staring down at the box in his hands. Steve was shocked that Bucky had bought him something so nice, and he felt bad for spending so little on the other man when he had gone out and bought him a  _fucking drawing tablet._

"I asked the sales guy and he said that it was the nice model, and that it would be perfect for artists of any type. And then I-" Bucky was caught off guard when Steve full on tackled him, hands around his shoulders.

"This is good Buck. Thank you." He whispered into the other's neck.

Bucky swallowed and rubbed Steve's back, returning the hug. "You're welcome."

Steve pulled away, scooting back on his knee's, blushing red. Bucky was pretty sure he looked the same, despite trying to keep his composure. Becca smiled like she knew something they didn't, watching from the sidelines. Bucky broke the moment and coughed, motioning for Becca to open hers.

She laughed when she opened hers and found a fondue box. "You know I was kidding when I-"

"Open the box." Bucky interjected.

She gave him an odd look but did as she was told and opened the box. "Is this?"

"Mom's favorite vase? Precious Barnes heirlooms? Why yes little sister, it is."

Becca stared down into the box, her bottom lip wobbling slightly. "This is-thank you Bucky."

"Well...She would have wanted you to have it." He replied.

Becca smiled sadly and set the box aside, crawling forward to hug Bucky. Steve quietly excused himself, not wanting to intervene in the moment. He went into the kitchen and started to make them all breakfast, and soon the siblings trailed in after him, splotchy faced and red eyed. He looked between them and smiled. "What do you say we stay in our pajama's all day and don't do anything?"

They all came to an agreement and after breakfast they all moved to the living room to watch Christmas movie after Christmas movie.

~*~

Bucky walked Becca down to her car after helping her with her bags, and they stood in the parking lot talking. "Thanks again for coming up Bec."

"It was no problem. I had a good time." She responded.

"Well..Call me when you get home. I wanna know you made it safe." Becca nodded, and reached out to place her hand on Bucky's bicep. "You should ask him out. He likes you. A lot."

"He does not." Bucky scoffed unconvinced.

"He does. And when you finally get the nerve to make your move, call me. I need to know so I can get the venue for your wedding booked."

Bucky groaned. "You're not planning our wedding already. _You're_ not planning it at all." He didn't realize his mistake soon enough, and a glint appeared in her eyes. She poked him with her key and giggled. "So there is going to be a wedding!"

"Goodbye Bec. Call me. Seriously."

Becca waved and got into her car, staring it up and backing out of her spot. Bucky watched her blue car drive off out of view before he made his way back into the apartment building shivering all the way. He opened the door to his apartment and found Steve still sitting on the couch drawing on his tablet. "She leave?"

"Yeah." Bucky said distracted. He was thinking about everything Becca had said, about Steve liking him too. Bucky motioned towards his room. "I'm gonna go...nap-or something." He mumbled. Steve nodded and watched him leave, going back to drawing when Bucky's door shut.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time ever writing anything even sorta sexual. Feedback from you lovelies is always appreciated. I'm gonna make a real attempt to finish this before New Years, and hopefully I can. One more chapter to go.

Steve was playing with the tablet Bucky had gotten him, drawing random people, or places. He clicked file on his laptop, and selected 'New' and waited for his computer to load the white page. When it popped up he started sketching out a vague figure, drawing a face. He was drawing the eyes when he realized who he had drawn and he blushed red, and set it aside, standing up. Steve raised his hands high above his head and stretched his body, working the cramps out from sitting in one position for so long. He decided he would take a break and he shuffled into the kitchen and opened the fridge, staring inside with a bored expression. Digging around until he found something he might want he pulled it out, and stared down at it. He came to the conclusion he wasn't really hungry and went and sat down on the couch again.

He was flipping through channels when he felt the couch vibrate beneath him. He stared down, confused, and scooted to the side. He checked the cushions, and held up his prize; his cellphone which had gotten lodged deep in the crumb infested bowls of the old couch. He read the message he had received; it was from Sam, who was asking Steve if he wanted to come to his New Years party. He even invited Bucky. Steve jumped from the couch and stumbled into the hallway, knocking on Bucky's door softly. "Hey Bucky? Sam invited us to a party on New Years. You wanna go?"

There was some shuffling and a crash, but Bucky opened the door. His hair was tied back, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, only tight blue jeans. His appearance was distracting to Steve and he glanced away, before focusing solely on Bucky's face (not that it was any less distracting to Steve). Bucky cleared his throat and backed up into his room, "Yeah sure. That sounds great."

Steve nodded, not trusting his mouth to speak, and hurried away. He heard Bucky shut the door, and he ran to the kitchen. He bent over the counter and covered his head with his arms, content to stand in that place until a black hole appeared beneath him.

~*~

Two days after Becca left, Steve and Bucky found themselves stood in front of Sam's apartment. They could hear music echoing through the door, and Steve knocked loudly. Sam opened the door, yelling raucously at someone behind him. He focused on Steve and Bucky and he yelled, "Steve!" loudly, laughing and pulling Steve in. "Just throw your coats in the closet there. "Hey Bucky! How are you dude?" He asked, giggling. Steve watched in amusement as Sam slung an arm around Bucky and pulled him along, parading him around, and introducing him to guests.

Steve watched fondly from beside the snack table. He was sipping at his punch, distracted, so he didn't notice Natasha walk up beside him. She stood beside him or a second and waited for him to pay attention, but when he continued to watch Bucky and show no signs of seeing her she elbowed him harshly in the rib cage. He jumped and turned, and let out a breath of relief.

Natasha smirked at him and laughed low. "Sorry."

Steve huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "Your fine."

They stood in silence, watching the crowds around them, and Steve looked around for Natasha's boyfriend. "Where's Clint?" He asked.

"In the kitchen. He's doing beer pong right now."

"Oh." Steve whispered, sipping his drink.

"Where's your boyfriend?" She asked looking over at him.

"Sorry, who?" Steve asked confused.

"Your boyfriend? The one at the diner?"

"Bucky? Oh he's not- we're not- dating." Steve said blushing furiously.

"Oh. Sorry." She replied.

"It's fine. We seem to get that a lot." Steve muttered.

Silence took over again and they stood sipping at their drinks and watching the party around them. Sam was still parading Bucky around, but it was obvious the dark haired man was becoming uncomfortable and was looking for an escape.

Steve is about to go save him himself when Clint came out of now where and wraps an arm around Natasha, leaning his head onto hers, and waving at Steve wildly.

Steve signed a quick 'Hello'. Clint held up his thumb in response and turned his face into Natasha's neck. She rolled her eyes but steered him away and into what Steve assumed to be some kind of bedroom.

Steve watched them disappear. When the door shut, he turned his attention to finding Bucky in the crowd. He couldn't see him in the living room anywhere and made his way to the kitchen, sticking to the wall, to avoid the gyrating mass of dancers in the middle. Couples were grinding on eachother in front of the entrance to the room, and he huffed, and tried to shimmy around them.

He glanced around the kitchen and concluded that it wasn't much better, the people in here loud and rowdy with drink in their systems, and dancing too. Two people were on the counter dancing, their bodies held together tightly by the one with their back to the wall. Steve groaned and shuffled out of the kitchen and into the hallway beside it. There was a small bathroom and Steve went and locked the door. He washed his face in the sink, and took a moment to breath. He unlocked the bathroom door and left, looking up and down the hallway. He stopped as he noticed the balcony at the end of the hallway. It was open and Steve tip-toed to it, peeking out. A figure was framed by the bright lights of the city around them, and all Steve could see was the silhouette of them. The person on the balcony turned and looked straight at him, and then sighed. "Hey Steve."

Steve made no move and held his breath, and then released it. It was Bucky.

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing?"

"Yeah. I just..needed a minute. Finally got away from Sam." He chuckled.

"Well are you gonna come back in? It's almost midnight."

"It is? Come on then. Let's go watch the ball drop." Bucky said, pulling Steve along by the elbow.

Steve allowed himself to be tugged along into the main room where everyone had gathered around the television. Bucky stopped at the back of the crowd, and pulled Steve to a stop along with him. A minute until midnight and people had paired up around the room, others with their arms around multiple people, jittery and excited. Steve could feel Bucky beside him, the air between them was electric. Steve wanted nothing more to reach out and kiss Bucky when the clock chimed twelve but he didn't believe his advances would be welcome. He crossed his arms to stop himself and watched as the clock hit thirty seconds til.

Bucky scooted closer to Steve, so that their arms were pressed together. Steve's breath caught and he looked at Bucky from the corner of his eye. Bucky glanced down at him when the timer reached fifteen seconds, and Steve quickly glanced away. The countdown began, and with each yell Steve's body tightened furthur. He knew the way he was feeling wasn't because fo the alcohol he had consumed. He certainly hadn't drank that much yet.

Five seconds and Steve finally plucked enough courage to look at Bucky. He was already watching Steve, his full focus on Steve's mouth. Steve didn't take notice of his gaze, too busy gearing himself up. The clock struck midnight and roars erupted around them, people kissed and whooped. Loud yells of 'Happy New Years!' were the only sound that could be heard. Bucky smiled and leaned down towards Steve. Steve swallowed and felt his stomach drop, and he closed his eyes and waited for the press of lips. It never came. Bucky had leaned in so he could be heard, and he whispered a soft, "Happy New Years, Stevie."

Steve's eyes flew open and he smiled back, trying to make himself look as normal as possible. He cleared his throat and stuttered out a shaky, "Happy New Years Buck."

The raucous laughter around them died down, to a loud hum and Steve excused himself to get them both beers. He brought Bucky's out to him and wandered off to the other side of the room while he was distracted. Bucky found him half an hour later, both of them far from sober.

"Stevie!" Bucky yelped, hanging his arm over Steve's shoulder, and laying his head on Steve's shoulder.

"B-B-uck, heyyyy..." He slurred, dragging out the syllables.

Bucky hummed and tucked his head into Steve's shoulder. Steve bunched up his shoulders, Bucky's warm breath tickling at his neck. "I think - think....I..forgot." Steve exclaimed.

Bucky hummed in answer, snuffling against Steve's neck. Steve closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, trying desperately to grasp the thought that was just out of reach.

"H-Home! I think we should go-" He hiccuped loudly and continued, "- home."

Bucky nodded against his neck and Steve decided that it was up to him to get them there. He grabbed both coats, and helped Bucky get his on, stuffing his beanie onto his head. He thought to tell Sam goodbye, but when he went looking for their host, Steve found him passed out beside the toilet. He gave up and went back to where he left Bucky, slipping his arm under the dark haired man's and opening the front door. He moved them steadily towards the elevator, and pressed the button. Bucky was able to walk, but just barely and Steve was finding it a challenge to walk them both in his own state. They reached the ground floor and stumbled from the elevator, outside and onto the sidewalk. He held up his hand and waved, and a cab pulled to a stop, and Steve slid Bucky in first. He pushed him to the otherside and slid in next to him. He told the driver their address and leaned his head against the window, letting it cool his warm face. Steve dozed off quickly.

He was awaken to a voice impatiently saying, "Buddy wake up. You're here."

"Huh. Oh i'm sorry." Steve gasped. He dug out his wallet and paid the driver, and he woke Bucky up. He yanked him along to the elevator in their building. When the doors opened Steve helped Bucky down the hallway towards their apartment, both stumbling ungracefully. He leaned Bucky against the wall beside their door, and took out his keys. The lock clicked and Steve turned to grab Bucky. His eyes were open and he was staring directly at Steve, his gaze unwavering. Steve swallowed dryly and spoke hesitantly. "Bucky? You okay?"

Bucky stared at him oddly, and tilted forward. Steve tripped on his own feet in a rush to catch him. He wrapped his arms around Bucky's torso and pushed him upright. Bucky had clutched on to the back of Steve's jacket and wouldn't let him step back.

"Buck...come on. We're both to drunk for this. Let's get inside. Com-" Steve was cut off by a warm pair of lips and his heart shot into this throat. Bucky's lip ring was cold and he hummed and pushed insistently, moving his lips and trying to coax Steve to do the same. Steve groaned and returned the kiss, running his hands up from Bucky's chest to his head. One hand gripped his hair and pulled him down so Steve could reach him as the other stroked his jaw. Steve broke the kiss and fumbled for the doorknob, Bucky still trying to move back in for more. Steve got the door open and dragged Bucky inside, shutting it with his foot and backing against it. Bucky put a hand on the door above him and started to kiss him again, and Steve's head banged on the door. He didn't react, busy trying to take Bucky's jacket off. Bucky quickly stripped the jacket and tore off his beanie, and then he reached for Steve's jacket. Steve pushed Bucky's shirt up, raking it only as high as his armpits, but enough to rub his hands along the other's stomach. Without parting, Bucky flipped them and began pushing Steve towards his room. The door shot open and hit the wall, but neither paid any attention as they frantically stripped each other. Steve's knees hit the bed and he fell down, Bucky following. Steve wrapped his leg around Bucky and flipped them, gazing down at the shirtless man beneath him.

"Your so gorgeous." He panted.

Bucky groaned and rolled his hips, pulling Steve down for another kiss, and practically ripping his pants from his body.

 

~*~

Steve woke up the next morning hungover and regretting every decision in his life that might have led to that moment. He opened his eyes slowly, expecting the bright sunlight that comes in through his window and blinking when it was dark still. He looked over at his bedside table but he couldn't find his alarm clock. He slapped at the table and nearly tumbles from the bed when he realizes it's not there. He's confused and his head is aching and he groans softly and rolled over. He buried his face into his pillow and froze. _'That is most certainly not my pillow. That is definitely not fabric. It's extremely warm.'_ Steve rubs the thing beneath his head and gasps when it groans and shuffles slightly. He moves his hand and discovers abs, and he can feel his face burn.  _'Who in the fuck did I sleep with? Where the fuck am I?'_

He slowly sat up, unhurriedly pulled the blanket off himself and laid it back on the other person. He sat on his knees and patted around for a pair of underwear. He grabbed them and put them on, and started to crawl from the bedroom. He found his shirt and his pants on the floor and held them while he searched for the door. When he found the knob he stuck his head out and realizes that one) This is his apartment, and this must be Bucky's room. and second, he must have slept with Bucky. He closes the door behind him and heads across the hall to his room. He laid on the bed and groans.

_'I finally get to have sex with my insanely hot roommate and I was drunk. So drunk I can't remember it. Great. What if I started it? What if he doesn't like me that way? What if-'_ Steve's thoughts all followed the same thought process for the next hour until he heard movement from the room across from him. He heard shuffling, and the bathroom door and then nothing, after the front door shut. Steve groaned and covered his face, kicking his feet.

~*~

When Bucky woke up the next morning he rolled over and reached for Steve only to find a warm spot and Steve missing. Bucky pulled on a pair of underwear, realized they were Steve's and assuming Steve had his, he walked into the kitchen. The kitchen was empty and Bucky wandered around looking for Steve. His room was quiet and the door was locked. Bucky clenched his jaw and came to the conclusion Steve didn't wanna see him. Steve thought last night was a mistake. Bucky went into this room and dressed, and left the apartment. He wanted to stomp around and slam doors and bang on Steve's door and demand they talk right that moment. He wanted to hide in his room and never come out, but it smelt like stale sex, so he left. He left quietly, not making the ruckus he wanted to. He left and he knew that nothing would be the same between them now. He would have to find a new apartment and make new friends, and he wouldn't get to get up in the mornings and see Steve's smile. The smile that could that make the sun cower in shame of it's brightness.

Bucky shuffled along the sidewalk and groaned feeling miserable, his head and heart hurting, like they were in a battle to see who could cause him the most pain. He walked into a little coffee shop, one he hadn't been into before. He would have gone to the one closer to the apartment but it reminded him of Steve, and he didn't wanna think about any of it right then. He ordered his drink and sat in the corner, watching people come and go.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter lovely readers! I appreciate all of you who left comments and kudos and just gave me all sorts of feedback on it! I've said this in the comments already but this is probably a series that I will just come back and add to little by little, until I feel it's complete.

Bucky came back late. Steve was not home and Bucky let go a sigh of relief. He found a note in the kitchen.

_**-Bucky** _

_**I went to stay with Sam for a few days. Figured I might give you some time to figure stuff out. I know you probably don't wanna live here anymore. Don't worry about me I'll look for a new roommate. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable.** _

_**-Steve** _

Bucky held back the tears threatening to fall and went to his room. He booted up his laptop and began looking for new places to live. By three AM he had three places to look at the next day. He turned off laptop and started to pack his things. He let himself sulk a bit, about Steve not returning his feelings, about having to move when he had just somewhat settled in; when he finally felt at home in a city that hadn't felt like home since his mother died.

He had his dresser packed and half of the tiny closet and he didn't feel like standing any longer. He had been awake for almost 24 hours by the time he was done with those and he sat on his bed and rested his head between his knees. He thought that maybe his life was starting to become decent and then this happened and he had never felt worse. He rolled his shoulders and stood, putting his wallet and his phone in his jeans. He slid on his shoes and jacket and left the lonely apartment. He put his hands in his pockets as he walked down the stairs in the building and pulled out gloves. The gloves Steve had gotten him. He huffed and put them away staggering out of the building and into the damp city night. He looked both ways and made a decision. Despite the memories from the mornings hellish hangover, he decided he desperately needed a drink. He made his way towards a bar, strangers bumping into him constantly and side-eyeing the scraggly haired man wearing leather.

He sat at the bar and ordered a drink, and downed it, signaling the bartender for another. The bartender thankfully kept the alcohol coming and he thanked him silently. The bar was closing and he wasn't near drunk enough so he made his way to liquor store. The cashier at the store looked at him in understanding and checked out his purchases with a sad smile. Bucky gave the woman a quick grin and walked home.

~*~

It was noon and Bucky was so drunk he could barely stand. He knew his cutoff limit and he stopped there, locking the rest away in one of his stash drawers. He was sitting at the table, watching the door for Steve, a voice in the back of his mind asking himself desperately what he was doing; why was he tormenting himself like this. He stumbled his way into Steve's bedroom and sat at the desk. It was scattered in notebooks and Bucky picked one up to flip through it. It was filled with amazing drawings, of the city, of random faces in crowds. He had drawings of Becca too. Bucky picked up another book and flipped through it idly finding a drawing of himself smiling warmly. He flipped to the next page. Another one of him, this time asleep. The next page, one of him laughing. The next, one of him cooking, his back to the artist. All of them were of him, in different poses, and different faces. Bucky stared down at them in confusion and took the sketchbook to his room. He hid it under his bed and crawled into it, instantly falling asleep.

~*~

Bucky woke up for the second time in the last three days with an extreme hangover and few memories of the activities that led to it. His hair was greasy and hanging in his face, and he was sweaty, and smelled. He gathered things for a shower and headed for the bathroom. He took medicine for the headache and crawled into the bed. He laid on his side, with his blankets over his face, and dozed off, dreams of Steve's smiling face filling his dreams.

~*~

Bucky groaned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He checked the time on his phone and realized he only had an hour and half to move all of his things from the apartment. Steve had been back once to get more clothes, and Bucky had carefully avoided him by simply staying in his room. He heard Steve moving around, heard him hesitate in the hallway and continue walking. When the door slammed he let out a breath of relief. He didn't think he was ready to face him yet.

He struggled to get up out of bed and start moving things but he knew that the longer he held off the faster he would have to move. His bed frame and box springs were already leaned up against he wall, ready to be moved, and all he had to do was tuck away the pillow and blanket he had slept with and lean the mattress against them. His clothes and personal items all fit into two boxes and a suitcase. Everything was ready to go and he began moving it into the living room so it would easier to access. The moving truck was ready and he started taking it down in the elevator, stacks at a time.

He had everything moved out and he stood looking around the empty bedroom. He went and got the ancient vacuum cleaner from the closet, and cleaned the floor. The vacuum was loud and rickety but it did the job and Bucky put it back in the closet when he had finished. He put on his jacket, the leather one from Becca, and left the apartment for the last time.

~*~

It had been months since Bucky had moved out of Steve's apartment. He was settled with his new roommate, a tough brunette named Maria Hill. She was nice, and although she said she had never served she carried herself like it. Bucky didn't really believe her but it was her business so he didn't pry.

Maria worked a lot so they didn't see each other all that often, but when they did they would eat dinner and watch a reality show on the television. She didn't really know how to cook, and Bucky found himself making most of the meals.

Bucky's days were becoming one big blur of gray. He was tired more often than not, the stress from not being able to sleep a full night weighing down on him. It started shortly after he had moved; the nightmares. He was awake at midnight one night and then 3 am the next. They were mostly the same. Dreams of the accident that took his arm, dreams of falling down a steep mountain. He had dreams about Steve some nights too. About him big and tall and when Bucky woke up and could remember these dreams he reflected that the Steve in his dreams had a body big enough to fit the heart of his Steve. His Steve. Bucky wants to hit himself when he realizes he's calling Steve that. He isn't his, and he won't be,ever.

~*~

It's just another sleepless night for Bucky. He left the apartment so he wouldn't keep Maria awake with his constant movement, and is now walking to get something warm to drink. He enters a small cafe and orders a coffee. The barista slides over his drink with a small smile, but Bucky is completely not in the mood. He nods and sits down at a booth, stirring his drink mindlessly. He's watching the drink mix together, the colors swirling until it it settles. He jumps when someone taps on his table. He follows the line of the person's arm all the way to the face and feels himself struggle to breath. It's Steve. Why is Steve here?

"Hey." He says nervously.

Bucky nods and swallows. "Hi."

"Can I...sit?" Steve asks.

Bucky nods again and Steve slides into the seat across from him. Steve looks embarrassed, swirling his finger around the rim of his cup.

"How have you been?" Steve asked.

"I've...been better."

"Yeah...You look like it."

Bucky grins a little and quickly tries to cover it with a cough. "Yeah. Haven't been getting much sleep. Nightmares." Bucky gapes at himself for a moment. Since when did he just freely offer up what was wrong with him like that?

"Oh. They're back?" Steve asked.

Bucky nodded minutely, and drank his coffee.

Steve broke the silence. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Bucky watched him. "For what? It was my fault."

"No. Bucky....I took advantage of you-"

He had to laugh. Had to. Steve thought he had taken advantage of him? They were both drunk and Bucky is pretty sure that he wanted to have sex with Steve. Maybe not like that exactly.

Steve looked offended. "What? I did. I took advantage of you. I let my feelings guide my drunk self and- well I mean you weren't sober either- but still!"

Bucky put his hand over Steve's mouth. "What do you mean? Your feelings?"

"I loved you Buck. I still do..." Steve whispered.

Bucky groaned and dropped his hand. "We are both dumbasses." He retorted.

Steve only had a second to comprehend what he said before he was pulled forward into a kiss. He waved his arms wildly and nearly knocked over both their empty cups.

"What? What was that?" He asked when Bucky released him.

"I love you too."

Steve gaped and stood. Bucky was worried for a second, until Steve grabbed both their empty cups. He took them over to the trash bin and tossed them in, and came back to the table smiling. "Come on."

Bucky didn't argue and he stood, taking Steve's hand. Bucky let Steve urge him along, smiling at the other man when his back was turned. Steve led them back to his apartment, and when he had the door unlocked he led Bucky to his room.

"Won't we wake up your roommate?"

Steve smiled sadly at him. "I don't have one."

Bucky was surprised but he followed Steve into his room. Steve took off his jacket and pushed him on the bed. He took off Bucky's boots and then took off his own jacket and shoes. Bucky started to say maybe they shouldn't push this, but Steve shut him up by pushing him back on the bed until he was laying down. Steve crawled on the bed next to him and settled at his side, burying his head in the crook of his neck. Bucky looked at the ceiling just feeling Steve's warm breath brush against his neck. "What are we doing?"

"Laying, mostly. I'm not letting you up until you get at _least_ six hours of sleep Buck. You look like shit."

Bucky huffed out a laugh and hugged Steve closer to his body. He closed his eyes and slipped off to sleep.

~*~

Steve and Bucky were taking a walk through the park, hand in hand, and eating ice cream. It was the first warm day, and they were gonna enjoy it to the fullest ability they could. Bucky pointed towards a small stone wall that was beside the secluded sidewalk they were on. "I dare you to do a flip off that." He joked.

"Alright. And if I do what do I win?" Steve asked.

"Twenty dollars."

"And a kiss." Steve added helpfully. "And you have to do it too."

"And if I win I get the same thing."

Steve laughed. " So either way we have to kiss?"

Bucky hummed thoughtfully and shrugged. "Guess your right. Let's skip the flip and the cash, and move straight to the kissing."

Steve laughed loudly and let himself be swept up into Bucky's grip and kissed.


End file.
